Today is unusual—I’m staying at home all day, skipping my usual workout routines, and feeling physically weak. My mind feels clouded, clarity elusive. Despite this discomfort, my heart feels deeply grateful, especially for my wife’s gentle presence. She cooks for me, patiently accompanies me, all while balancing her own workload from home. It’s remarkable how moments of vulnerability amplify gratitude, allowing us to truly see and cherish those who stand beside us.
Walking and Reflecting: The Power of Authentic Conversations
Two days ago, while walking with Joshua, our conversation brought up profound insights that I continue to reflect upon. He shared a lesson from a coaching experience, captured perfectly in this Chinese phrase:
多情，少爱 (Much affection, little love)
Yet, ideally, we should strive for:
爱多，情少 (More love, less mere affection)
This distinction is subtle yet meaningful, particularly in Asian cultures where relational harmony often overshadows speaking difficult truths. Affection is warm and comfortable; it nurtures relationships superficially. Love, however, is deeper, courageous, and truthful—even when difficult truths must be expressed.
Truth Over Affection: A Coaching Experience
Joshua encountered a situation where his affection toward a client prevented him from addressing her core issue—her financial struggle due to undervaluing her excellent counseling services. His hesitation came from a good place—wanting to maintain relational harmony. But that affection became a barrier rather than a support.
Enter Samuel, an experienced coach, who demonstrated what authentic love looks like. Samuel spoke honestly, clearly addressing the client’s hesitation about charging fair fees for her counseling work. He emphasized a vital point:
Value is defined by the positive impact we create for others.
If a person helps someone generate RM100 profit, charging RM10 is not only fair but also crucial to sustaining meaningful work. This truth-telling was transformative. She was awakened to the idea that valuing herself correctly is essential—not selfishness, but fairness.
Love Means Speaking the Truth
In Asian culture, straightforward honesty can sometimes feel harsh or even disrespectful. Yet, genuine love requires courage—speaking difficult truths clearly, compassionately, but unambiguously. This idea resonates strongly with a significant biblical teaching:
“I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)
Initially, this verse might seem exclusive, narrow, or even controversial. Yet, unpacked carefully, it invites us into profound clarity.
Understanding “The Way”
Life can be confusing, filled with countless choices and unclear paths. When Jesus says, “I am the way,” he’s offering clarity amid chaos—a purpose-driven path that leads toward fulfillment, hope, and authentic peace. Imagine navigating unfamiliar roads alone versus having a reliable guide to follow—someone whose wisdom helps you confidently reach your destination.
Understanding “The Truth”
In our world, truth often feels negotiable or relative. However, real truth is universal, timeless, and unwavering. Jesus declaring himself “the truth” invites us to build our lives on principles that genuinely matter: integrity, compassion, justice, and love. Without truth, love becomes mere affection—superficial, easily broken, and ultimately meaningless.
Understanding “The Life”
We all desire more than mere existence—we crave meaningful, fulfilling lives. Jesus’ declaration, “I am the life,” speaks to the heart’s yearning for purpose, joy, and deeper fulfillment. He offers not mere survival, but vibrant life—rich in meaning, significance, and eternal value.
Why “No One Comes to the Father Except Through Me”?
Initially, this sounds restrictive. But consider this from a different angle: Jesus isn’t creating obstacles; he’s clarifying authenticity. He’s calling us beyond superficial spirituality to embrace real relationship—a relationship built on love and truth. Rather than a gatekeeper blocking the path, Jesus positions himself as a key—precise, intentional, unlocking true connection with God, grounded in unconditional love.
In essence, Jesus’ words challenge us to ask:
- Are we satisfied with shallow affection, or do we desire genuine love?
- Are we courageous enough to live authentically, beyond mere politeness or superficial harmony?
Valuing Self-Worth and Authentic Contribution
Returning to Joshua’s coaching experience—when affection eclipses honesty, everyone loses. Samuel’s truthful clarity not only helped the client appreciate her own worth but also created sustainable value for herself and her community.
This is genuine love:
To confront with kindness, to challenge with compassion, and to guide with integrity.
Honoring Individual Journeys and Timing
Another recent reflection involves someone whose potential excites me profoundly. She’s incredibly insightful, highly intelligent, yet hesitates to fully utilize her capabilities—like owning a Ferrari but choosing to push it by hand instead of igniting its engine.
I recognize each person moves at their unique pace. Even though eager to help accelerate her journey, patience and respect for her timing are crucial. Pushing too fast might backfire, whereas patiently speaking truth and encouragement at the right time empowers lasting growth.
Criteria for Meaningful Growth
Through my experiences, I’ve realized that intelligence and skill alone are insufficient predictors of meaningful progress. Instead, my criteria for identifying potential and readiness include:
- Faithfulness – consistently showing commitment.
- Availability – openness to embrace new opportunities.
- Involvement – proactively engaging in growth and goals.
- Teachability: willingness to continuously learn and evolve.
- Humility: openness to guidance and self-awareness without ego interference.
With these qualities, authentic, lasting transformation becomes achievable.
Rest, Reflection, and Respecting Life’s Timing
This current moment of physical discomfort (possibly rotavirus) highlights another key life principle:
Life moves in seasons. There’s a time for active pursuit and a time to rest.
Trying to force productivity when rest is required only leads to frustration. Today, I respect this principle deeply:
Rest isn’t wasted time—it’s essential fuel for clarity, growth, and purposeful living.
Purpose in Pausing
Purposeful living isn’t merely relentless pursuit; it equally requires knowing when to pause, when to rest, and when to reflect. As I embrace this rare day of weakness, my gratitude deepens, my clarity sharpens, and my conviction in love grounded in truth grows stronger.
May these reflections also inspire you to reflect intentionally:
Are you settling for mere affection, or courageously embracing genuine love?
Are you valuing yourself authentically?
Are you honoring your own seasons of striving and rest?
Let this gentle challenge lead you deeper—into purposeful authenticity, courageous truth, and abundant life.
Because life is richest when lived authentically—with more love, and less mere affection.
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