The Calendar Is Honest, But the Heart Measures Time Differently

1 January 2026 felt like another day.

And yet everything felt different.

Not dramatic, not loud, just a quiet shift inside me. I felt older. Not because the number changed, but because my awareness did. A sense that I needed to change the way I look at life, to be more mature, more conscious about what is happening, more honest about what matters.

On the calendar, 2025 ended on 31 December.

But in my life, the year ended on 27 December.

That thought kept repeating itself.

People like to measure time chronologically. But human beings do not experience time that way. We experience time emotionally. That is why a short dinner with family can feel bigger than a whole week of noise. That is why a quiet moment can carry more weight than an entire month. In our memory, what matters is not the count of days. It is the meaning of days.

And there is another truth that makes this even sharper. The brain marks endings more strongly than durations. People may not know the term, but they know the experience. We remember how something ends more than how long it lasted. That is why a year can be “complete” on paper, but unfinished in the heart. That is why my year ended earlier.

Everyone is given 24 hours a day.

Everyone is given 365 days.

So the question is not whether 28 to 31 December matters. Of course it matters. Those days are not meaningless. But the deeper question is, what ends a day for you? What ends a year for you?

To answer that, I realised we must ask better questions first.

What matters most?

Who matters most?

What is my priority?

Why is it my priority?

Only then do I earn the right to ask, how do I get there?

A Closure Ceremony on 27 December, Then a Countdown on the Highway

Why did I say 2025 ended on 27 December?

Because for the first time, I was away from my family during the year crossover. From 31 December into 1 January, I was not with my wife and my children. The last day I was with them was 27 December 2025. That was why we did a simple closure ceremony with the family on 27 December. It was rushed. It was imperfect. But it was real. We tried to create an ending, because the ending was coming earlier than expected.

I was in China. People asked why I did not spend the year in China, meaning count down there until 1 January, then only return. Logically it would be easier. Practically it would be smoother.

But the people who matter most were back home waiting for me.

So I decided to come back on 31 December. And there was a huge cost for that decision. It was already night time. I was extremely tired. I missed things. I paid in energy, in comfort, and in that strange kind of loneliness you feel when you are doing the right thing but still suffering for it.

I spent 31 December to 1 January, the countdown on the highway. I do not even know exactly where I was.

So I called my wife.

If there is only one person that matters most, that I want to spend time with in that moment, it is my wife.

That call became my countdown.

And this is where something changed inside me. From a week ago, from 24 December until now, something shifted drastically. People might say, it is just a few days. But those few days were not “just a few days.”

It is like boiling water. From room temperature, maybe around 28, slowly rising degree by degree. Most of the journey looks boring. Nothing seems to be happening. But the whole time, the state is changing invisibly. Then it hits 99, and it is close, but not yet. When it hits 100, the difference is not one degree. The difference is state.

That is what it felt like.

I did reflection on 2025 closing.

I did reflection on what I want to do in 2026.

I reflected on our 10th wedding anniversary.

On the children.

On myself.

On what I wanted to achieve.

Clarity formed. Not overnight, but through compounding.

Most people underestimate processes and overestimate events. They want the breakthrough without the build-up. But life does not work like that. Leadership does not work like that. Identity does not work like that. The quiet daily thinking compounds, until one day it changes your state.

Consistency Under Pressure Is the Real Test of Quality

I kept thinking about a simple truth.

Many people live up to around 70. Some spend most of their life wandering, being lost. They are not truly living. They are surviving. Some people spend their time in prison. Some spend their time on a hospital bed. That is why when I think about living life to the fullest, it has to start somewhere.

First, health.

Then, purpose.

Not just body. Mental, spiritual, emotional, physical health. These shape people. Then the rest follows, depending on what you choose as your purpose.

Why does that matter?

Because life is full of variables. Too many variables. And if you do not define your anchor, you will be dragged by every wave.

That is why we respect leaders who are consistent regardless of situation. Maturity is revealed on bad days, not good ones. Not rigidity. Calmness. Loving. Respectful. Staying on course under pressure, even when things are not going your way.

That is how you see the value of a person.

The same goes to a car. What makes a car different is not smooth highway conditions. It is tough road, tough situation, where the car maintains consistent comfort. The same goes for cameras and photographers. The best camera is not tested under best condition, but during the worst situation, weather, insufficient light, constant movement. That is when quality is revealed.

And here is a fun fact that is not just a fun fact. It is a leadership mirror.

The best products in the world are tested at the edges, not at the center.

That is why some cameras can sell while some remain mediocre. Because they fulfil a few criteria.

They are consistently good in any condition.

They are convenient.

They can take photo and video.

They are not easily affected by external limitations.

Humans are the same. Leaders are the same.

So which condition are you designing yourself for? Comfort or chaos? Praise or pressure? The answer matters.

Now if one could understand this point, you would be able to sail through. But the question is still there. With so many variables, which one should we focus on?

My answer is, it depends on your goal.

That is why goal setting matters.

After a week of distillation, I realised my focus for 2026 is this.

Love truth.

Love life.

Love people.

The moment that became clear, everything else began to flow through it. Like a camera objective. Like a vehicle design.

Some cameras are built to be waterproof.

Some are action cameras, stable no matter how you shake them.

Some are portrait cameras, consistent colour tone.

Some cars are built for comfort.

Some are built for performance.

Some for reliability like Toyota.

Human beings are built around their objective too. The moment that part is defined, the rest will work around it.

Day 1 Tested My Words, Not My Intentions

And on the first day itself, I was tested.

One person who used to be close with me came and accused me of making use of them. A simple misunderstanding, but emotionally explosive. It became heated. I could feel a lot of emotion. I was pissed off.

My goal is love truth, love life, love people. But my goal does not mean I have to be a saint to achieve that.

So what did I do?

I tried to explain. Not because I wanted to prove myself, but because I was afraid to lose this person and break the relationship. I wanted this person to know one key point, that I did not have the intention to use them.

I kept asking, what makes you think that I am using you?

This person could not answer and talked about anything else.

That was my wake-up call. Logic is not the language that works in every conversation. When emotions are high, reason becomes background noise.

There is a real science behind that too. Emotion travels faster than reason in the brain. Your emotional center reacts before your rational mind catches up. That is why in heated moments, more explanation often makes the other person more defensive. Not because they are evil. Because they are flooded.

And I failed the test.

But I noticed that I failed. That awareness matters.

I told the person we need to stop. We will talk only when you are ready. This person replied saying, well I am ready anytime, but when you are ready it means you will not be defensive. You will be open to listen.

Practice what you preach. Walk the talk.

Then I realised something uncomfortable about myself too. I wanted to keep clarifying. I wanted to keep controlling the narrative. Not because of ego, but because I cherish the relationship.

And yet, the more I explained, the more it got heated.

So what have I learned?

It is important to focus on a person’s emotion. Emotion is huge. It can even be an economy today, especially with Gen Z, Gen Alpha.

During MCO, just travelling to a mamak stall for Teh Tarik felt like heaven. Scarcity produced gratitude. Today, in abundance, expectations rise fast.

Here is another uncomfortable truth.

People are insatiable.

They will not be happy with their current state.

And the more people get, the more entitlement can grow.

Not as judgment. As observation. As navigation.

That is why the emotion economy will be huge.

And I learned a Chinese wisdom that fits my situation: 落井下石

I do not have to force someone to understand everything. Even if the intention is good, it is not always wise. Timing matters. Readiness matters. Emotional safety matters.

Not every truth must be delivered now.

Not every problem is my problem.

Even when it involves people who matter.

Love People, But Also Know The Boundary

So what would I do better?

I would not explain myself too much.

When I sense the person cannot take it, I should not continue. I should stop earlier. I should let the heat settle.

Just like when I see someone addicted to phone, real short videos, out of good intention I could remind them to be careful of eyes, brain. But I must be wise enough to know whether they can accept what I say at that moment. If not, let it go.

This does not mean I stop loving. It means I stop forcing.

I used to think walking away means giving up. But I am learning that walking away can be a form of maturity.

Especially with people who matter.

If it is meant to be, it is meant to be.

This person will return.

If it is not meant to be, let it go.

No point destroying or hurting the relationship.

And in the middle of all this, I still had reasons to be grateful. I spent time with my third son. I spent time with my wife. We had a very nice dinner to welcome 2026. I had a quick breakfast with my parents.

That is all that matters.

The first day of 2026 was meaningful and beautiful, not because it was perfect, but because it was grounded.

And here is the quiet measurement I want to keep.

A full day is not a day with the most output.

A full day is a day aligned with what matters most.

Reverse That Redefines It All

A year does not end when the calendar says so.

It ends when you leave the people who matter most.

And loving people is not proven by how long you can keep explaining,

it is proven by whether you can stop before you ruin what you are trying to protect.