A World That Feels More Unhappy Than Ever
We live in a world where happiness feels harder and harder to grasp. Many of us can sense it. The air feels heavy with division, fear, and uncertainty. Screens magnify outrage. Political discourse breeds contempt. The residue of the pandemic still lingers, leaving many disconnected from community and struggling with trust.
In the midst of this, leadership is not a shield. If anything, it makes you feel the weight of unhappiness more keenly. Leaders carry not only their own stress, but also the burdens of their teams, their families, and the people they serve.
I have often reflected on how to navigate this tension. How do we build healthy, hopeful, meaningful cultures when the world around us feels fragmented? How do we protect our teams from transactional burnout, and help them find deeper resilience in life and work?
A recent insight from the Global Leadership Summit played at our place gave me fresh clarity on this question. The speaker shared something simple yet profound: happiness is not a feeling to pursue. It is a portfolio to build.
That statement stayed with me. The more I reflected on it, the more I saw its truth in my own leadership journey, in parenting, and in the culture we are building at Stellar. In this reflection, I want to share why I believe this shift in perspective is so important, especially for leaders in today’s world.
The Quiet Trap of Transactional Work
A conversation earlier this week reminded me how easy it is to fall into the trap of transactional work.
We had a meaningful discussion with a couple who will be helping us edit and publish Lead to Impact. What struck me most was their posture toward work. They clearly saw this as more than just a project or a job. They were motivated by purpose, not just payment. They cared about the meaning behind the work.
That is not common today. Many people operate in purely transactional terms. Work is reduced to deliverables, performance to outcomes. Yet when this happens, a subtle emptiness creeps in. Teams may remain compliant, but they lose their spark. Individuals may perform, but they do not flourish.
I have seen this in my own leadership as well. In the early years of building Stellar, we focused heavily on systems, structure, and delivery. It was necessary, but I could also sense the risk of hollowness if we did not cultivate something deeper.
It became clear that if we wanted to build a resilient, future-ready culture, we could not stop at compliance. We had to help people connect with meaning. We had to give them space to pursue not just performance, but also purpose.
This led me to a simple but important leadership principle I try to remind myself of often: compliance prevents falling, but leadership helps people rise. Compliance gives us a floor, but it will never inspire greatness. To help people grow, we must call them upward. We must create cultures where meaningful work is possible, and where people are supported in building the inner resources that allow happiness to grow even in challenging times.
Growing Through Stress and Capacity
This leadership principle is not just theoretical. I have experienced it very personally, particularly in how my own relationship with stress has changed over the years.
Not long ago, a relatively small financial gap would leave me awake at night. I would turn it over endlessly in my mind, unable to rest. The pressure felt suffocating.
Today, the objective stress I carry is much larger. The financial gaps are ten times greater. The leadership challenges are more complex. Yet I find myself sleeping better. The difference is not that the problems are smaller. It is that my capacity has grown.
Faith has anchored me. Purpose has clarified my path. Experience has taught me that struggle is a necessary part of growth, not something to be feared or avoided.
This is an important lesson for leaders. We cannot eliminate stress, but we can help people grow their capacity to handle it. We can model resilience. We can teach that maturity is not about the absence of stress, but about the ability to face it with wisdom and peace.
This is where the concept of happiness as a portfolio becomes so valuable. It reminds us that happiness is not an escape from reality. It is something we cultivate through the habits and choices that shape our lives.
Happiness as a Portfolio: A Framework for Life and Leadership
At the GLS series, the speaker shared a simple formula that I believe every leader should internalise: happiness equals enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.
Let us unpack this carefully.
Enjoyment is not about chasing constant pleasure or distraction. It is about experiencing healthy joy, shared with others, and creating memories that enrich life.
Satisfaction is not about instant gratification. It is the deeper joy that comes from walking through struggle and growth, from achieving something that required effort and perseverance.
Meaning is the foundation. It is the sense that your life and work contribute to something beyond yourself. Without meaning, enjoyment and satisfaction remain shallow and fleeting.
This formula aligns powerfully with what I have seen in leadership, in culture, and in life. The happiest people are not those who avoid struggle. They are those who have intentionally built a life portfolio that balances these three elements.
The speaker also shared four key habits that nourish this portfolio:
- Faith: which helps move our focus beyond self
- Family: which grounds us in relationships that remind us who we are
- Friends: not transactional connections, but authentic ones
- Meaningful work: which allows us to earn significance through serving others
When these four pillars are strong, people can sustain happiness even in difficult seasons. When they are missing, no amount of external success will fill the gap.
This is why leaders must care about more than performance. We must care about the health of the whole person. We must model what it looks like to build this portfolio ourselves, and we must help others do the same.
Embedding These Principles at Stellar
At Stellar, we are intentionally embedding these principles into how we build culture. It is a work in progress, but I believe it is essential to shaping an organisation where people can thrive.
We lead with purpose. Every person needs to see how their work connects to a larger mission. We remind our teams that we are building something that will outlast us.
We invest in community. Family days, team gatherings, and shared rituals matter. They help build relational trust, which is the glue that holds teams together during challenging times.
We model leadership as service. Our goal is not to control others, but to help them rise. We want our leaders to elevate, not dominate.
We normalise conversations about stress and growth. We teach that stress capacity is a muscle. It can be trained. It is not a sign of weakness to acknowledge stress. It is wise to build the inner resources needed to handle it.
These principles help create an environment where happiness is not left to chance. It is something we actively cultivate, both individually and collectively.
Reflections From a Full and Meaningful Day
I felt these truths very personally during a recent day that was full of diverse leadership moments.
From deep discussions about our book, to banking challenges, to HR leadership conversations, to our Stellar family event, and finally hosting the GLS group at my home, it was a packed day.
At one point, I felt the fatigue and frustration that can come from the rush and logistics of leadership. But in the evening, as we gathered for the GLS session, the topic brought me back to what truly matters.
Getting happier in an unhappy world is not about avoiding struggle. It is about building the right portfolio so that happiness can flourish even in imperfect conditions.
That evening, I saw clearly that the four pillars: faith, family, friends, and meaningful work were present in my day. They grounded me. They strengthened me. They made the day not only manageable, but meaningful.
Truth Beneath the Surface
There is a truth beneath the surface that I believe every leader must embrace:
Happiness is not a feeling to chase. It is a portfolio to cultivate.
And in a world where unhappiness feels pervasive, leaders have a unique opportunity and responsibility to help people build that portfolio.
We cannot eliminate all stress.
We cannot shield people from all disappointment.
But we can create cultures that nourish faith, family, friendships, and meaningful work.
We can model resilience and maturity. We can teach that happiness is not found in circumstances, but in the habits and values we cultivate over time.
In this, leadership becomes not just about driving outcomes, but about helping people flourish.
A Simple Invitation to Leaders
I will end with this invitation:
What is one small habit you can build this week in faith, family, friends, or meaningful work that will help you and those around you nourish true happiness?
The world needs leaders who understand this.
Leaders who live it.
Leaders who help others do the same.
This is how we get happier in an unhappy world.
