1 April 2025 | Leadership Reflections on Aging, Parenting, Fear & Purpose
Story 1: I Would Rather Pay – The Wisdom of Aging
Today we brought our entire family—parents, siblings, spouse, and children—to Singapore.
It was simple. No luxury itinerary. But deeply intentional.
As we drove through a tunnel, my sister joked that when you bring senior citizens to China, everything’s free. That led to my dad asking, “Even if we’re Malaysian?”
And I laughed. “Whether you’re Singaporean, Malaysian or Bangladeshi—if you’re old, you qualify.”
But then my mom quietly said something that froze the moment:
“I’d rather pay.”
And my dad nodded, “Yeah… agree.”
It made me pause.
They weren’t rejecting the discount.
They were grieving the time.
Their statement didn’t just reflect humor. It revealed wisdom.
If they could exchange the entitlement of age for the energy of youth… they would.
And that reminded me:
We will all age. But we don’t all grow.
Youth isn’t a number. It’s a posture.
A spirit. A season that can stay with you—even at 70—if you protect it.
3 Leadership Anchors from Aging
- “Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn.”
- Turn every regret into revelation. Shame into seed.
- Your failures aren’t final unless you stop learning from them.
- Embrace your full identity—flaws and all.
- You are the most complete version of yourself right now.
- Everyone you admire is broken too. They just kept going.
- Ask yourself daily: Who do I want to become?
- Not “what should I do today,” but who do I want to become because of it?
- And make sure your answer always reaches beyond yourself.
Story 2: We Shape the Soil Our Children Grow In
At the Science Centre, watching my sons play with their cousins, something became clear:
Our children’s friendships are planted by our choices.
I recalled how some of my closest childhood friends were the kids of my parents’ friends. It’s not magic. It’s legacy, shaped by intentional proximity.
Now, I’m passing that baton—building bonds between my kids and their cousins. But it’s more than friendships. It’s also how they handle tension.
Today, my second son snapped at his younger brother for interrupting him. I saw that intensity—focused, talented, easily agitated.
And I had a choice: to scold or to shepherd.
Discipline without restoration can fracture trust.
So I pulled him aside. I saw him. I guided. I explained.
Because parents don’t just correct.
We translate emotion into maturity.
The ABCs of Purposeful Parenting
- A – Acknowledge where your child is now.
- B – Build a vision for who they could become.
- C – Create a bridge of patience and wisdom to get them there.
Parenting is not about control.
It’s about crafting character.
We don’t get to choose who they’ll be.
But we do shape how they’ll become.
Story 3: Embracing Fear, One Wall at a Time
At the Air Force Museum, I saw a banner that read:
“We do this so Singaporeans can live.”
That line shook me.
Because as a father, I know the instinct.
If anything threatened my child, I’d defend him with my life.
It’s not strategy. It’s wiring.
But here’s the reverse leadership truth:
Great leadership doesn’t begin with the desire to be followed.
It begins with the willingness to be sacrificed.
At the Science Centre, they had a whole zone on fear. Not just ghosts.
They listed real, modern fears:
- Fear of missing out.
- Fear of needles.
- Fear of public speaking.
- Fear of darkness.
- Fear of insignificance.
There was even a public speaking simulator.
I stood there… and remembered my uni days.
I Would Rather Do 10 Assignments than 1 Presentation
That was me.
Public speaking used to kill me.
But today, I speak to hundreds. Thousands. And I don’t flinch.
Why?
Not because I love it.
But because I faced it—enough times to take away its power.
Later that night, I went for a swim. It was late, dark, and unfamiliar.
Years ago, I would’ve been paralyzed.
Today—I just swam. Calm. Peaceful.
Fear is just a wall.
You don’t remove it by talking.
You remove it by walking through it.
Reverse Leadership: You Don’t Grow by Avoiding Fear. You Grow by Facing It.
Let me say it plainly:
- I had a fear of public speaking. I faced it.
- I had a fear of darkness. I swam through it.
- I had a fear of elder women—yes, really—shaped by childhood fear of my mom’s scolding. I’ve healed from it.
- I had a fear of marriage. I now embrace it with joy.
- I’m still afraid of balloons—but even that, one day, I will overcome.
The point isn’t whether your fear is big or small.
The point is whether you let it build a wall around your life…
Or whether you let it become the doorway to your next level.
Leadership Isn’t What You Think It Is
Leadership isn’t loud.
It’s not impressive.
It’s not about platforms or praise.
The opposite of leadership isn’t following.
It’s self-preservation.
True leaders lead because something inside them must be shared.
Not to feel important—but to live purposefully.
That’s why I write.
That’s why I parent the way I do.
That’s why I love deeply, even when it’s hard.
Because this life…
This one life…
Deserves more than drifting through days.
Closing the Day: A Life Well Lived
We ended the day with sushi, gym, and a late-night swim.
I spent time with my parents, my wife, my kids, and even faced a few fears.
If I don’t wake up tomorrow…
I’d still say today counted.
A day well lived.
A legacy in motion.
A leader in the making.
Because that’s what leadership is.
Not perfection.
Not position.
But presence.
And day by day, as we face our fears, shape our children, and embrace our aging…
We cross the rivers that once held us back—and we lead others to do the same.
Good night.
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