Arrival at 11:11

I arrived at the SG500 marketplace conference in Singapore not on the first day, not even on the second, but for just a brief window on the final day. My watch showed 11:11 as I walked into the hall. For me, this number has always carried a quiet symbolism: one heart, one soul. Whenever I see it, I sometimes screenshot it and send it to my wife as a reminder of loyalty: one heart, one mind, one body, one spirit.

That morning, however, I entered the conference drained. My body battery was low. I had not fully recovered from weeks of overwork. Inside the rooms, discussions were already in full swing. Groups were talking about Gen Z talent development, forming strategies and sharing insights that were unfamiliar to me. I could not tell where the conversation began or where it was meant to go. I felt lost, uncertain, and disconnected.

I sat at the corner seat of the last row, almost hiding. There was a kind of comfort in being invisible. No one asked for my opinion. No one even noticed me. In truth, I was relieved. Invisibility felt like safety.

The Irritation of Being Misunderstood

At one point, a consultant turned his attention to me. He did not know me, and I did not know him. Yet within moments he began to challenge me. He spoke about schools shutting down because they claimed to run education but failed to deliver real value. He told me bluntly that our model was bound to collapse. Then, without pause, he suggested that after schools I should consider running conferences instead.

I listened, impressed by his intelligence but unsettled by his approach. There is a simple rule of conversation: before giving advice, understand the person before you. That moment revealed how easily people jump to conclusions. He had ideas, but they were not rooted in knowing me. His energy felt like brainstorming without context.

Later, I was pulled away by one of the committee members who reminded me of the upcoming fireside chat. That interruption felt like a lifeline. I excused myself and walked out, once again being moved from one place to another, still feeling like a stranger in the room.

When Ideas Divide, Prayers Unite

In the midst of this, I heard a phrase from the organizer that stayed with me: prayerstorming. Unlike brainstorming, where disagreement is natural and often divisive, prayerstorming invites people to seek God together about a topic.

When people pray, no one interrupts to say, “I disagree with your prayer.” Instead, prayers build upon one another, creating harmony and humility.

Prayerstorming begins by asking: what has God placed on my heart, and what has He placed in my hand? Participants bring scripture, read it aloud, and then respond in prayer rather than debate. Thoughts are recorded not as minutes of a meeting but as scribed prayers, later gathered and reflected upon. The acronym PRAISE captures the range:

Praise, Revelation, Awareness, Ignition, Support, and Endurance.

This simple yet profound shift transforms collaboration. It removes ego from the equation and creates space for divine guidance. In Malaysia, churches and schools often struggle with collaboration precisely because debates about strategy can fracture unity. Prayerstorming offers a different path: a reminder that while ideas divide, prayers unite.

A Short Sharing, A Sudden Shift

When my turn came to share on stage, I prayed a quiet prayer: “Lord, use me. Let this moment not glorify my name but Yours.”

I did not speak about success. Instead, I shared failure: my struggles in marriage, my struggles in business, and the way God redeemed my life through brokenness. I spoke openly, authentically, and briefly. The entire sharing lasted less than twenty minutes.

Then something remarkable happened. The very same crowd that had not noticed me suddenly noticed me. People who had brushed past me earlier now sought me out. Some asked for my contact. Others wanted to connect. Even the man who had rejected my request to take a photo earlier began to speak enthusiastically, telling me how much we had in common, how we were from the same hometown, how we should collaborate.

I had not changed. My shirt was still wrinkled, my hair still messy. Yet the perception of others changed entirely. That is what Stephen Covey calls a paradigm shift. One moment, invisible. The next moment, visible. Same person, different perception.

Paradigm Shifts Across Cultures

Covey’s classic story of paradigm shift tells of a man irritated by noisy children on a train until he learns that their mother had just died. Suddenly, irritation became compassion. The situation was unchanged, but the perception was transformed.

In leadership, paradigm shifts are not abstract ideas. They are lived realities. In Asia, where hierarchy and titles often determine respect, visibility carries weight. People treat you differently once you are on stage.

This is not unique to conferences. In Malaysian politics, we saw how the 2018 general election created a nationwide shift. A record-breaking turnout of more than 80 percent reflected how quickly perception could swing, changing the course of the country. The candidates were the same people, but the nation’s perception of them shifted almost overnight.

Globally, consider Nelson Mandela. During his imprisonment, he was invisible to many outside South Africa. Yet upon his release, visibility transformed into influence. The same man, once overlooked, became a global symbol of freedom. The person remained the same; what shifted was the lens through which people viewed him.

Maxwell’s Laws in Action

John Maxwell’s Law of Influence states that leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. At SG500, my influence grew not because I gained a title, but because authenticity resonated with people. Titles are temporary. Influence is lasting.

Maxwell also reminds us through the Law of Process that leadership develops daily, not in a day. My twenty minutes on stage were not born in that moment. They were the fruit of years of failure, perseverance, and God’s redemption. What others saw as sudden visibility was really the culmination of long preparation.

And the Law of Sacrifice is always in play. Visibility tempts pride, yet true leadership demands humility. To “go up” often requires first giving up. That afternoon, giving up the glory of networking and returning home to my wife and children was the truer act of leadership.

Otrovert: Beyond Solitude and Spotlight

For years, personality tests divided people into introverts and extroverts. Later came the recognition of ambiverts, those who could draw energy from both solitude and social settings. But now, a new cultural term has surfaced: the otrovert. It describes people who are neither fueled by solitude nor energized by the spotlight.

When I reflect on SG500, I realize how much this resonates. Sitting quietly at the back, I felt comfortable but not recharged. Standing on stage, I became visible, but the attention was equally draining. Neither extreme gave me energy. What steadied me was not the room itself, but prayer, purpose, and integrity.

In Purposebility language, this is the paradox of identity: the best of both worlds is found in the intersection. Otroversion is more than a personality type. It is a reminder that leadership often happens outside the binaries. True leaders do not fit neatly into labels of introvert or extrovert. They hold the tension between invisibility and visibility, pride and humility, solitude and community.

The Real Stage

When I walked off the SG500 stage, I knew that I had a choice. I could linger, receiving attention, collecting contacts, feeling inflated. Or I could go home.

My wife was waiting. My children had tuition. My newborn was at home. In the end, I chose the latter. I chose to go home, because the real stage is not a conference. The real stage is the dining table, the bedtime story, the quiet presence with family.

As leaders, we often pursue visibility. We want to be known, to be recognized, to be remembered. But true leadership is tested when no one is watching. It is tested in the consistency of character, in the faithfulness to relationships, and in the humility to return from visibility to invisibility without losing identity.

Statistics That Remind Us

A 2022 Deloitte survey found that 70 percent of employees in Asia believe authenticity in leadership matters more than authority. In Malaysia, a 2023 workplace culture study revealed that leaders who shared their struggles increased team trust by 40 percent compared to leaders who only spoke about success. Globally, Gallup continues to report that trust in leadership is the number one factor driving employee engagement.

These numbers confirm what paradigm shifts reveal experientially: leadership is not about being seen. It is about being trusted.

The Reverse That Redefines It All

What then is the paradigm shift at 11:11? It is not merely moving from invisible to visible. That is perception. The deeper shift is realizing that visibility does not equal value.

Being seen can change people’s perception. But only prayer and integrity can change legacy.