Reflections on Leadership, Identity, Legacy, and the Fundamentals
A Long Day with Eight Purposes—and One Deep Realization
Okay, now it’s my final time for reflection of the day. Today felt incredibly long.
- We started early in the morning with a trip to Singapore to send Samuel to the airport. That was the original reason. But it didn’t stop there.
- We met Mr. Tan. Then bumped into another Mr. Tan.
- Visited my sister.
- Watched the cousins play together.
- Had a great lunch.
- Meaningful conversations with my children.
- Paid respects at my friend’s sister’s funeral.
- Ended the day with a deep, quiet conversation with my wife.
Eight meaningful moments in one day.
And it all began with a simple reason—send a friend to the airport.
If I were to sum up this day, I’d say: today is a day well-lived.
There are so many years in our life. The earlier we understand this, the earlier we can actually begin living—not just existing. I’m reminded of the quote:
“The two most important days of your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.”
One is the day you start breathing. The other is the day you truly start living.
I just pray the gap between the two isn’t too long—and that the journey from why to goodbye is long enough for us to pursue that purpose with all we’ve got.
Funeral Marathons and the Shortening of Life
Lately, I’ve been attending a lot of funerals. Almost like a funeral marathon.
And I’ve noticed something: the people being mourned are getting younger.
Funerals feel like a silent countdown—like watching the sand in an hourglass run out faster for some.
The older I get, the more I realise: we don’t come with visible battery percentages.
Some of us are at 90%, some already at 10%, and we don’t even know it.
Life is short. And since we don’t know when our time is up, we better start really living.
Some of the most remarkable figures in history lived short lives.
Take Jesus. Departed at 33. Started his ministry at 30.
And yet—look at the hope, transformation, and global legacy he left.
It wasn’t about how long he lived.
It was about what he lived for.
The impact wasn’t in the length of his life, but the depth of it.
What Makes a Life Remarkable? Purpose, Not Possession
Betterment isn’t about advancement, status, or success.
There are people who are rich in cash, property, and power—but bankrupt in relationships, purpose, and peace.
There are those who are successful in career, wealth, fame—but fail miserably at home.
So true betterment is not about external affirmation. It’s internal fulfillment.
Look at Mother Teresa. Came from wealth. Yet gave it up for a life of sacrifice.
Gandhi. Same thing. These weren’t perfect people—but they lived for something beyond themselves.
The One Word That Sums It All Up: Leadership
There are living examples too. People I know personally.
Thao Boon—one of the rarest people I’ve ever met. So high up in status, yet so grounded in humility.
And Pasatim, who passed away exactly a year ago—lived a life deeply worth living.
If I had to sum up what makes people like that remarkable in one word, it would be:
Leadership.
But I’m not talking about titles or power. I’m talking about the kind of leadership that changes lives.
Lead to Impact vs. Lead to Impress
For the past few weeks—especially while working on OM support—I’ve been reflecting deeply on leadership.
Originally, I thought of writing a book. I called it Lead to Impact.
Because too often, leadership gets corrupted.
People lead to impress.
Lead to glorify themselves.
Lead to be successful.
Lead for fame.
Lead to look good.
That’s not leadership. That’s performance.
Leading to impress is like being a peacock in a storm—beautiful but useless.
Titles and social media posts shine in fair weather.
But in a crisis? They don’t shelter anyone.
True leadership doesn’t serve the self.
It serves a mission beyond the self.
So now I see it differently:
Before we lead to impact, we must learn to impact.
Identity Before Influence
Too many people try to lead before they even know who they are.
Before they understand their own identity. Their past. Their triggers. Their emotions. Their wounds.
Leading without healing is like sprinting with a torn hamstring.
You might move fast for a while, but you’re going to collapse—and take others down with you.
So here’s a self-check before you even think of leading:
- Are you secure with who you are?
- Can you face your past without shame?
- Can you face your future without fear?
- If today were your last day, what have you not let go?
- Is there anyone you’ve not forgiven?
- Any bitterness you still carry?
- If given a chance to do something great—what excuse would hold you back?
- These are signs of emotional immaturity.
- And maturity matters in leadership.
- What triggers you?
- Your anger? Your ego? Your envy?
- Triggers reveal values. But they also reveal maturity.
Blame Game vs. Ownership
Do you see the world as something that owes you?
Do you often say:
- “It’s my company’s fault.”
- “It’s my spouse’s fault.”
- “It’s the government.”
- “It’s too hard.”
- “I don’t have time.”
- “It’s because I’m born like this.”
If yes, I say this with love:
Those are the shoes of a victim, not a leader.
Victims look through windows—always seeing others as the problem.
Leaders look in mirrors—asking, “What can I change first?”
The mirror is where transformation begins.
Because the fundamental difference between leaders and non-leaders?
Leaders reflect.
They ask: What can I do better?
The Shoelace Analogy
Think of basketball.
Learning to tie your shoelace won’t win you the championship.
But not tying it will cost you everything.
Same goes for leadership.
Character doesn’t guarantee greatness.
But lacking it guarantees failure.
Let’s Be Real: Learn Before You Lead
So before you Lead to Impact, ask:
- Are you secure with yourself?
- Do you know the only person you can change is you?
- Do you believe that the issues you see in front of you are your responsibility to solve?
If you say yes—if you’re willing to step forward with what you’ve got—people will follow.
Not because you’re rich. Not because you’re famous.
But because you’re real.
Because your mission is contagious.
Loyalty to the Mission, Not the Man
People aren’t loyal to you.
They’re loyal to the mission you represent.
So if you want to lead, start here:
Learn to impact.
Learn to bring positive change.
Learn to impact yourself.
Learn to be better than you were yesterday.
Lead to Impact will follow.
But Learn to Impact comes first.
Snow White (2025): A Cautionary Tale
I recently read about Disney’s new Snow White movie.
$250 million invested.
Only $80 million in return.
It became one of the biggest flops in Disney history.
The internet exploded—sarcastic names like Snow Grey or Snow Brown.
Some say it was the casting. The look. But I don’t think that’s the real issue.
I did some quick research. Listened to the interviews.
What stood out to me wasn’t her appearance—but her entitlement.
And that’s the shoelace again.
It wasn’t her face that failed her.
It was her character.
Entitlement is ugly.
Arrogance is off-putting.
And no amount of money can cover that up.
Now imagine if the actress had said:
“I’m honoured to stand on the shoulders of a classic. I hope to honour its legacy and bring something meaningful for today’s generation.”
Same role. Same budget. Entirely different impact.
So yes, if all you want is fame—congrats.
You’ve made history.
But not the kind you want.
Final Reflection: Good Night
So let me say this again:
Before you Lead to Impact… Learn to Impact.
Secure your soul.
Reflect honestly.
Serve others.
Own your journey.
That’s leadership.
Some people leave a legacy of impact.
Others leave a legacy of regret.
Which one are you building?
Good night.
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