When Excuses Sound Like Humility

We often think we are being humble when we hold back. We say, “I am not ready. Someone else is better. I will wait till I am perfect.” We mask our fear in caution. But if we are honest, excuses are not humility. They are self-preservation.

Look at Moses. He stood in front of a burning bush while God called him to lead an entire nation out of Egypt and he rattled off five excuses in a row. Who am I? Who are you? What if they do not listen? I do not speak well. Find someone else. It sounded holy, but it was fear wrapped up in false modesty.

I see that same script in my own life. I grew up shy, an introvert. Speaking English felt like public humiliation waiting to happen. I told myself I would speak when my grammar was flawless, when I could get a full score every time. So I stayed quiet, convinced it was humility. But really, it was just me protecting my pride.

How Protection Becomes a Lid

John Maxwell says your leadership lid is set by your willingness to lead when you are uncomfortable. I know that lid well. When I founded my first company, I faced it every day. I kept asking myself, Who am I to do this? What if people will not follow? Maybe I should step aside.

It took me years to realise those questions were my own version of Moses’ excuses. Each one was a self-made lid holding back what we could build together.

10 years ago, I left my own company because power games and territorial ego crept in. I watched what happens when leaders choose control over service. It destroys trust. It shrinks the whole room.

Advice I Would Tell My Future Self

Nothing under the sun is new. I have seen history repeat itself more than once. Even now, I see talented leaders with so much potential still holding tight to territory, playing politics, or spending all their energy defending themselves out of insecurity. But this time, I have risen stronger. I count it fortunate to stand close enough to observe different kinds of leaders with different styles. It is a mirror for who I am becoming 30 years down the road. One timeless principle always stands: the higher you go, the more humble you should be.

What Loyalty Really Anchors To

Seeing these patterns reminds me that what keeps people loyal is never fear or force. It is deeper roots.

Earlier today, I learned a word that changed how I see people: embeddedness. Research shows people do not stay because you ‘bribe’ them with more salary or a fancy title. They stay because their work is deeply rooted in 3 things: identity, relationships, and family.

One story stays with me. A Chinese factory expanded to Africa. The team expected market problems but faced a simple issue. Workers did not show up on time. Cash bonuses did not work. Moral lectures did not work. So they tried honour. They made punctuality a badge of pride for the whole village. Parents were celebrated, photos in the local paper, family names lifted. Suddenly, being late was not just losing money. It was losing face. Attendance soared.

In Germany, the same idea played out differently. A company wanted the best engineers. They doubled salaries but the best did not come. They promised startup dreams but still no. Then they asked the spouses what would make them say yes. Safe housing. Schools for kids. Friends for the family. So they moved whole families together, embedded every piece of their life into the work. The talent followed, not for the paycheck alone but for the roots.

Rooted Work Requires Rooted Leaders

We say we want loyal teams, people who stay. But people do not stay because you give them perks. They stay when they see you paying the price too. They stay when they see you kill your excuses before you ask them to do the same.

If I hold on to my old fears, my language shame, my leadership doubts, my need to be flawless, then my people will too. The hidden truth is this. Your excuses set the ceiling for everyone around you.

I have learned this the hard way as a father too. Putting my kids to sleep, guiding them through their piano practice, swimming lessons, grocery trips. They do not see the perfect version of me. They see the real me choosing discomfort again and again. It has never been about the polished stage speech. It is about the everyday moments that cost you something.

The Discomfort Is the Gift

We all want progress but we hate discomfort. In Southeast Asia, we often protect face at all costs but sometimes that just buries the breakthrough. Our excuses feel noble but they keep us shallow. When you choose discomfort, you plant roots that go deeper than your ego ever could.

The same goes for our organisations. When people sense that their work is woven into something bigger, a community they trust, a family they honour, an identity they are proud of, they dig in. They stay when leaving would cost too much to their sense of who they are. But that trust is fragile. It starts with you.

The Quiet Question to Ask Yourself

So tonight I ask myself again. What excuse am I still clinging to? Where do I still say, “I am not enough,” so I do not have to act? And what small discomfort am I willing to hold so that someone else can grow?

Because the opposite of leadership is not just following. It is self-preservation.

Kill Your Excuses First

Write it down. Name it. Then do something tomorrow that makes it irrelevant. Speak before you are ready. Launch before you are certain. Risk disappointment before you are bulletproof.

Your legacy is never about how well you protect yourself. It is about how deeply you root yourself in your people, your family, your community. Roots hold when the storm comes. Excuses do not.

So start there. Kill the excuses first.