18 February 2025
This past weekend was intense—chaotic yet deeply purposeful. And it left me with a question I can’t shake:
What is your heartbeat truly pushing you towards?
Mine has changed. Radically. And I need to share why.
The Weekend That Had It All
Friday was a whirlwind—Valentine’s Day and an all-day coaching session with our strategy mentor. It was transformative, but let me be clear: no ambition, no success, no achievement is worth trading your health or your relationships for. So, I stuck to my routine—got my workout in, swam my laps. Then, I took my wife to a new Japanese restaurant for dinner.
Because love doesn’t sustain itself.
Because romance isn’t automatic.
Because neglect is still a choice.
We talked, reconnected, and then my mentor, Peter—the founder of UCSI—and his team joined us for supper. No slowing down, just life in full motion.
Saturday? No less intense. Breakfast with Peter and a friend from Forest City, an easygoing CFO I clicked with instantly. Then off to Stellar Education Group’s annual award ceremony—a stunning event, like a garden wedding, brimming with meaning. After that, a three-hour basketball session with Peter (his obsession, but I wasn’t backing down). And finally—my youngest son’s fourth birthday party.
It was his first proper celebration.
Why?
Because he’s an MCO baby, born in the pandemic. We’d forgotten what it even meant to throw a birthday party for our kids.
That day, we remembered.
Sunday slowed down—groceries, time with the children, a calmer rhythm. But by nightfall, we were racing to Kuala Lumpur for a full Monday of back-to-back meetings. And one meeting stood out—the Mastery Programme with my 10x strategy coaching community.
It wasn’t just another session. It became a moment.
Measuring What Really Matters
At Mastery, I was tasked to share a miracle story.
The theme? Heartbeat. Perfect for Valentine’s month, but this wasn’t about romance alone—it was about what drives us.
I shared my transformation in marriage. And it all began with a simple, yet uncomfortable tool: the John1010 Life Wheel.
Ever tried to measure your life—not your income, not your business growth, but your actual life?
We’re obsessed with tracking numbers. We measure finances, productivity, KPIs. But how do you measure love? Family? Purpose?
The Life Wheel breaks life into ten core areas, each scored out of ten. I loved it so much, I introduced it to my team. But here’s the thing—it only works if you’re brutally honest.
So, I rated mine in front of them.
Health? Strong.
Career? Thriving.
Love and romance? Dismal. Embarrassing. Consistently low.
That number haunted me. Why was it so bad?
And a more terrifying thought:
What if the weakest part of my life held the greatest lesson?
The Wake-Up Call
I had convinced myself I was doing enough:
- I worked hard.
- I provided for my family.
- I played the “good father” role.
Surely, that meant my wife should feel loved.
Surely, my efforts were enough.
But they weren’t.
That low score on my Life Wheel wasn’t just a reflection—it was a mirror.
So, I stopped assuming and started acting.
- I joined a marriage accountability group.
- I attended a marriage camp.
- I committed to regular counseling.
And then something happened (after 3 years of effort) —something I hadn’t expected.
We found out we were expecting our fourth child. A daughter.
And the moment I learned her gender, my mind raced forward—years ahead.
I saw her life in flashes:
- Her birth.
- Her school years.
- Her first love.
- The day I’ll one day hand her over to a man.
- And then it hit me.
Who will she choose?
Because that choice will shape the rest of her life.
And who is teaching her what to expect from a man?
Me.
I am her first example.
I am her first standard.
I am her first definition of love.
How I treat her mother? That’s the model she will follow.
How I speak to my wife? That’s the voice she will listen for.
That realization changed everything.
Love Isn’t About Effort—It’s About Vision
I started looking at my wife differently.
She wasn’t just my partner.
She was someone’s daughter.
And if I want my own little girl to be loved the right way, then I needed to be that example.
Not by fixing my wife.
Not by changing her.
But by embracing who she is, completely.
The magic? It happened naturally.
She noticed my change. And she began to change too.
I had spent years trying to make her see my love.
But for the first time, I made sure she felt it.
The old version of love I believed in? Gone.
Because love isn’t about “effort.” It’s about seeing clearly.
Are you loving your partner for who they really are?
Or are you secretly waiting for them to become who you wish they’d be?
If you want perfection, wait a few years. AI will build you a flawless spouse.
A robot designed exactly to your liking.
Creepy, right?
But that’s where we’re heading—people abandoning real relationships because they’re messy, unpredictable, and inconvenient.
It’s like choosing instant pills over real exercise. It’s easier. But in the long run, you lose something vital.
I’d rather wrestle with the complexities of real love—messy, raw, imperfect—than trade it for something artificial.
Because here’s the truth:
Real love is never effortless. But it is always worth it.
So, What’s Driving Your Heartbeat?
How did I get here?
Not just through what I did.
Through what I began to see.
Right now, my unborn daughter’s heartbeat is already strong.
She doesn’t even know it. She doesn’t even know us.
But we already know her.
And we already love her.
That’s the first layer of heartbeat—it exists before you even recognize it.
And the second?
What you give.
Every beat of your heart means something when it’s poured into someone else.
That’s my miracle.
From a failing marriage score to a renewed love story.
From a blurred vision to absolute clarity.
From a self-focused leader to a father who sees what truly matters.
And now, I leave you with this:
- What’s your weakest area telling you?
- What are you ignoring that could transform your life?
- What’s your heartbeat truly pushing you towards?
Because mine changed everything.
And yours can too … if you let it.
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