Today is January 29, 2025—just two more days until the end of the month. However, it is already the first day of the Chinese New Year, and yesterday was Chinese New Year’s Eve, the last day of the year in the Chinese calendar. It is a day when families gather for reunion dinner.
We had one earlier on January 25, a week ago, with the extended family, and another one yesterday at my parents’ house, where all the siblings came together. The scene was a bit chaotic—the kids were playing with firecrackers while we waited for my elder sister to arrive. She, being married into another family, had to rush over from another reunion dinner to join us. When she arrived, she requested a group photo.
I assumed we would just take a quick photo at the spot where we were standing—to capture the memory in its true essence, rather than trying to pose for the “perfect” shot. Instead, we ended up with a candid photo, reflecting the moment when we were all gathered—the kids playing with fireworks, siblings rushing over to reunite.
The Unexpected Incident
Moments after taking the photo, a few cars drove in slowly and stopped, recognizing that there were kids and elderly family members walking around in the street. We were in a residential neighborhood, after all. But then, one car came in and failed to notice the camera on the ground.
We tried to stop the driver, but he continued forward and crushed our camera on the spot.
Everyone was shocked. I was at a loss for words. When I picked up the camera, it was completely destroyed. My brother-in-law had tried to warn the driver, but the driver simply didn’t see it in time.
In a split second, I had to adjust my expectations. My first instinct was to approach the driver—not to demand compensation, but to remind him to be more careful. I told him, “There are kids outside. Please drive carefully.” I even set up a spotlight on the main road so that drivers would be more aware of the children.
The driver gave me his contact number and assured me that he would see how to compensate us, either through his insurance or some other means.
However, the next day, he messaged me saying that, after checking with the police and his insurance agent, he was not legally obligated to compensate us and had decided not to take responsibility.
I was deeply disturbed—not just by the loss, but by his complete lack of accountability. The way he dismissed his responsibility triggered something in me. It wasn’t even about the money anymore; it was about principle.
At that moment, my mind was filled with adrenaline and cortisol—I was in full combat mode, driven by frustration and dissatisfaction. What made it even harder was discovering that the driver was actually a friend.
If my friend had come forward and explained that he couldn’t compensate me due to financial difficulties, I would have understood. But instead, he chose to hide behind legal technicalities, saying he was not required to do anything.
This situation made me reflect on character and integrity. Some people live strictly by rules and laws, while others go beyond them—not to break them, but to act from the heart.
For example, I recently heard about my cousin, who went the extra mile by giving large red packets (ang baos) to my parents, uncles, and aunties—even though, by tradition, he wasn’t obligated to do so. The standard rule is to give ang baos to children or the unmarried, yet he chose generosity over obligation.
This contrast helped me understand that rules exist to maintain order, but what truly defines us is how we choose to go beyond them. Some people only do what is required, while others choose to give more, care more, and do more—and those are the people who make the world beautiful.
Guarding Your Heart: Practical Steps
Coming back to my situation, this experience reminded me of a Bible verse:
“Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
This was the perfect moment to practice that principle. I have known this verse for years, but I needed a real opportunity to apply it.
At first, I was stuck in the mindset of “right and wrong.”
- “By right, he should compensate me.”
- “By right, he should at least apologize.”
But when those expectations weren’t met, anger took over. I started thinking:
- “Maybe I should file a police report.”
- “Maybe I should expose this on social media.”
Then I stopped and asked myself:
“What was my original intention?”
It was never about money. It was simply to remind drivers to be careful.
So I made a choice: to let it go.
Because guarding my heart is not just about protecting it from hurt—it is about choosing where to invest my energy and emotions. And in that moment, I realized:
Practical Ways to Guard Your Heart
- Imagine the Worst—Then Find Gratitude
- If the worst happened (e.g., a child got injured), would I still care about the camera? No.
- If that is the case, why waste energy on something less important?
- Instead of frustration, focus on gratitude—the people I love are still safe.
- Compartmentalize—Contain the Negative
- Yes, it sucks, but not everything in life deserves equal emotional weight.
- Keep disappointments in their lane—don’t let them spill into precious moments like CNY, family time, or joyful gatherings.
- Ask: “Is this frustration worth affecting the people I love?”
- Choose Your Chess Moves Wisely
- Not every battle needs to be fought. Just like in chess, some pieces are worth sacrificing for a greater strategy—like peace, relationships, or joy.
- Protect your “king”—your peace, priorities, and heart.
- Shift from “Right vs. Wrong” to “What Really Matters?”
- Yes, by right, I deserve compensation.
- But what is my true goal? Justice or peace?
- Some people will hide behind technicalities, and waiting for them to change will only drain my energy.
- Set Emotional Boundaries
- Not everyone operates with the same level of integrity.
- Letting go is not about being weak; it is about reclaiming my energy for things that truly matter.
- Redirect Energy into Meaningful Moments
- Instead of staying stuck in disappointment, channel my energy into joy.
- Connecting with my uncle and cousin led to something meaningful (LOH Legacy planning).
- When one door closes, another door opens—but only if I am not stuck staring at the closed one.
Because at the end of the day, a broken camera can no longer capture memories, but a guarded heart can continue creating them.
What Happened Next
After letting go, I chose to continue fellowshipping with my family, especially my uncle, who has been battling with stroke for years.
He embraced me with a hug, and I later heard from my aunt that he is now able to walk with crutches daily.
Wow, what a miracle!
Had I stayed fixated on my frustration, I would have missed this beautiful moment—one far more valuable than any compensation I could have received.
I also had meaningful conversations with my cousin, and together, we even started planning for the first step of LOH Legacy!
I knew I had made the right choice over the easy choice.
Final Reflection
A broken camera can no longer capture memories, but a guarded heart can continue creating them.
I chose peace over resentment, relationships over grudges, and faith over frustration.
Most importantly, I chose to guard my heart—not just from pain, but to invest my energy in the people and moments that truly matter.
Because in the end,
I choose to let go—not because he deserves forgiveness, but because some battles aren’t worth fighting. I chose peace. so that I could fully embrace the people and moments that truly matter.
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