What if you’re a leader… but you just don’t know it yet?
Building More Than Schools
Today was hectic—but not just busy, it was fruitful.
We’re not just building schools.
We’re building memories that matter. Institutions that matter.
And today, I got to journey alongside some incredible leaders from another international school I deeply admire.
Here’s what I’ve come to realize:
Every leader is first a human being.
Every leader has their own wiring—strengths, weaknesses, insecurities, blind spots.
They resist, they battle who they are, and yet they still step up.
I wasn’t there to give them answers.
As a strategy coach, I’ve learned that the best thing I can offer isn’t another solution—it’s a mirror.
Because sometimes, even elite, wise, well-educated leaders don’t need more ideas.
They just need clarity.
The Opposite of Clarity Isn’t Confusion—It’s Noise
Clarity.
Such a simple word—yet so rare.
The opposite of clarity is not confusion.
It’s noise.
And the noise often comes from what doesn’t belong:
Ego
Old beliefs
Comfort zones
Family expectations
Self-preservation masked as strategy
We don’t realize how much noise we’re surrounded by—until we sit still long enough to hear ourselves again.
The real enemy of leadership isn’t weakness.
It’s self-preservation.
Because real leaders risk ego to raise others.
Overprotected, Then Exposed
I say this as someone who was shielded by love—protected to the point of dependency.
I was raised in the glow of my parents’ care—a love so radiant, it became a shield.
My parents gave me everything.
Even in secondary school, my mom still de-boned fish for me.
She peeled peanuts. Packed frozen soup and meat into containers for me to bring to KL.
Sometimes, they’d drive up just to check on me.
Everything was prepared.
It’s love.
But even light can cast a shadow.
That’s the hidden cost of growing up under a family’s glory:
You stay safe… but you stop stretching.
The more they paved the way, the less I learned to walk it myself.
I didn’t realise how much I leaned on that aura—until I found myself alone in Melbourne.
No frozen food.
No weekly check-ins.
Just me.
That’s when I first met the discomfort of true independence.
And I thank God I’m forgetful—
Because I forgot the pain quickly enough to keep going.
Forgetfulness Is a Superpower
People read once and remember.
I have to repeat it five, six times.
I forget names. I forget facts. I forget details.
But that’s become a blessing.
Why?
Because I forget the pain. The failure. The doubt.
And that frees me to try again.
To take risks others wouldn’t.
“I thank God I have a small capacity.
So I’m forced to only remember what truly matters.”
And that forgetfulness lets me lead with a fresh heart—every time.
Gratefulness vs. Forgetfulness
The opposite of grateful isn’t ungrateful.
It’s forgetful.
And today, I find myself crying—not from sadness, but from this deep sense of indebtedness.
I finally understand the sacrifices my parents made.
The silent, unsung heroism.
No reward. No award. Just decades of service.
My wife will never fully understand that feeling—because I’m the one indebted, not her.
And that’s okay.
Marriage, Culture Shock, and the Mummy’s Boy Moment
Marriage opened my eyes in a different way.
My in-laws are loving—but in a very different form. They give space. They don’t interfere.
When I was once hospitalized, my wife didn’t rush to visit—because she knew someone was already there.
It was practical. Logical. But it triggered something in me.
And one day, she said it:
“You’re such a mummy’s boy.”
That stung.
But she was right.
It took me years to admit it… and to start stepping out of that identity.
Family Business, Familiarity Traps, and the Cost of Comfort
When families are close, lines blur.
And in family businesses, it’s even harder.
There are long histories, complicated dynamics, hidden expectations.
If everyone shares the same goal, it’s easier.
But if self-interest creeps in, it becomes a battlefield.
And that’s the trap—familiarity becomes safety.
We stop growing, stop leading, stop risking.
Because change demands we leave what we know.
Leadership Is About Stepping Up, Not Standing Out
So what is leadership?
It’s not loud.
It’s not positional.
It’s not charisma or titles.
It’s the quiet moment when someone says:
“This isn’t my job… but I’ll do it anyway.”
It’s picking up after others.
It’s asking hard questions.
It’s staying behind to serve—without recognition.
Leadership is responsibility, not recognition.
Presence, not performance.
Alignment, not applause.
From Lonely to Legacy: Redefining Family
I have three sisters. No brother.
I used to long for one.
But now I see: family isn’t defined by blood.
God didn’t give me a biological brother—but He gave me brothers in the mission, comrades in purpose.
That love is reciprocal.
It’s contagious.
And it’s deeper than DNA.
So we don’t just build schools.
We build a Stellar family—not by name, but by calling.
The Only Way to Know if You Can Trust Someone… Is to Trust
How do you know someone is trustworthy?
You don’t—until you trust them.
Just like marriage.
You can go through premarital counseling, values alignment, background checks…
But there’s still a leap.
The same goes for leadership.
It demands vulnerability.
And that’s the risk.
What If the World Isn’t What You Thought It Was?
The biggest breakthrough isn’t new knowledge.
It’s unlearning false assumptions.
Modern science tells us:
We only use about 5–10% of our brain consciously.
The rest—our subconscious—is an untapped reservoir of insight, emotion, memory, and wisdom.
And reflection is how we draw from it.
It’s like stem cells—regenerative, healing, surprising.
The answers aren’t always outside.
Sometimes, they’re already inside us.
So What Now?
Ask yourself:
What if I’m a leader… but I just didn’t know it yet?
What am I assuming they understood—without checking?
What have I not tried yet, simply because I’ve been afraid to fail?
If I had total freedom, what’s the first move I’d make today?
Don’t wait for perfection.
Just act.
Because movement creates clarity.
The Circle of Life, The Call to Rise
There’s a quote I love from The Lion King: Mufasa – The Legend of the Lion:
“There is no lion as large as an elephant, as strong as an oxen, as fast as a cheetah, or as tall as a giraffe who can soar as wide as far as the cranes and hawks in the sky. So… can’t you see? Every being has a place in the Circle of Life. My breath is your breath. Your fight is my fight. I will not bend to evil, and neither should you!”
You may not feel like a lion.
You may not roar.
But maybe—just maybe—you were born to lead.
To protect. To unite. To serve.
Final Reflection
So many of the leaders I admire…
They’re reluctant.
Humble.
Overprotected.
Soft-spoken.
But they carry quiet strength.
And they’re rising—not because they want to be seen…
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