Sauna Reflections: Alone, Yet Full
Almost 6 o’clock, 27th of March 2025. I’m alone. Gym, sauna, swim—done. Now I’m back in the sauna, and let’s do some reflection.
I came across a young lady—really young, in her 90s—running a preschool that’s doing really well. But when you’re at the peak, your next move determines everything. Go higher, or start falling.
It’s the same in Singapore. It’s the same in Malaysia. Every city—Johor Bahru, Iskandar Puteri—comes with its own silent battles. From the outside, everything looks successful. But the real weight? Only insiders feel it.
The JB Boy Who Never Meant to Move
I’m a JB boy. Never imagined I’d live in Iskandar. To us, Iskandar was empty. Ghost town. Night markets? Gone. Food? Sparse. Convenience? None.
But we got an opportunity to start a school there. Grateful—but puzzled. Why Iskandar?
We were living in Mount Austin. Half an hour to town. An hour to Iskandar. And the traffic was killing us.
Then COVID came. Property prices dropped. We got a house closer to work—huge discount. We moved. Not because we loved Iskandar, but because we hated the traffic.
Funny how that became one of the best moves of our lives.
A Vision of Shared Lives
We didn’t just buy a house. We stepped into a vision.
A few of us, living near each other. Separate houses, shared lives. Morning walks. Spontaneous dinners. Real community.
And we turned travel time into workouts. Routine. Health. Life.
Today, I can say it confidently: Iskandar is alive. Quiet roads. Urban planning. Educated, respectful people. Safer. Simpler. Especially for raising kids.
But here’s the truth:
What you see from the outside is never the whole story.
Mentorship and Clarity: Who Do I Help?
This morning, I offered to mentor Monash undergrads—12 weeks. But my main focus now? Helping leaders already moving.
How do I decide who to support?
- Heart – Why are you asking? For yourself or your team?
- Track record – Can you prove results?
- Clarity – Do you know where you’re going?
Most people don’t. They say “growth,” but have no idea where they’re headed. You can’t follow the crowd and complain about the destination.
That’s where I come in—helping them think through the fog.
Uncle Tao Boon’s Framework: Questions Before Answers
Tonight, we met with Uncle Tao Boon. Always generous with insight.
Before we even spoke, he sent us this:
“Reflect on these:
- What happened?
- Any specific examples of team or parent dissatisfaction?
- What caused it—fees, results, policy?
- Why the reactions?
- What’s been the impact?
- What does success look like next time?
- What values should the communication reflect?”
Answer these, and you’ll find the root of the issue.
His brilliance isn’t in having answers. It’s in asking the right questions.
Leadership Boundaries: Loving with Limits
He also shared from Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud.
Quote of the day:
“You are not responsible for other people. You are responsible to them.”
Let’s unpack it:
- Boundaries define responsibility – Know where you end and they begin.
- Saying no is loving – Leaders aren’t rescuers. Over-functioning breaks trust.
- Consequences teach better than lectures – Let them feel the impact.
- Boundaries must be communicated – Don’t assume common sense.
- Boundaries create freedom, not control – Clear roles = thriving teams.
Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re gates—with wisdom on when to open and close.
Childhood Is Being Rewritten—and Not in a Good Way
Then came the sledgehammer.
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt.
His claim? Childhood was stolen—not by trauma or academics, but by screens.
Five takeaways:
- Phone replaced play – No more scraped knees. Just scrolling.
- Mental health collapse (2012–2013) – Instagram, TikTok. Girls suffer image issues; boys retreat into games.
- Experience-stretching – Kids face adult pressure before they’re ready.
- Overprotected offline, underprotected online – The paradox of modern parenting.
- Schools are left fixing what society broke – But can’t, unless we rebuild real childhood.
A Campus That Restores Childhood
When we design our next school, it must do more than impress.
It must restore wonder.
We want kids to forget their phones even exist. To run, play, fall, build, bond.
We’re not building buildings.
We’re building childhoods.
Personal Recovery Work: My Children
During the pandemic, my kids were screen-fed too.
Zoom school. Devices. Antibiotic learning.
But I fought back.
Took them to Orang Asli villages. Fishing towns. Firefly nights. Legoland.
And now? They still ask: “Dad, can we roller skate? Do origami? Go outside?”
That’s a win.
I’ll prioritize that. Every time.
One Kick, Done Right
And then there’s this idea:
One kick. 10,000 times.
But make sure the kick works.
If you do the wrong kick 10,000 times, you just get really good at doing the wrong thing.
Real mastery = repetition + refinement.
Our Vision, Reaffirmed
We’re not just educators.
We’re rebuilding foundations.
Raising a generation of STARS:
- Self-awareness
- Teachability
- Attitude
- Relationships
- Significance
It starts with clarity. And it starts with you.
Closing Reflection: From Design to Destiny
What kind of world do we want our children to inherit?
Real question.
Because we’re not rejecting technology. We’re redeeming it.
We’re not avoiding discomfort. We’re redesigning it into discipline.
We’re not asking for easy.
We’re asking for impact.
Good night. A day well lived.
Tomorrow? Another brick in the legacy we’re building.
