Clarity: The Power to See, the Courage to Act

It’s 9:51 PM, and this is my third reflection of the day. I feel drained—not physically, but mentally. The kind of exhaustion that comes from thinking too much, from conversations that force me to process, analyze, and navigate complex emotions.

I just had dinner with my wife. She had her cravings, and I was happy to take her out. It’s a small thing, but these moments are important. Life isn’t just about the big, world-changing moments—it’s also about the simple, everyday choices that show love and commitment.

Before calling it a night, I had a conversation with a young man who seemed lost and needed help. He wasn’t the only one. Today’s conversations all had a common theme: Clarity.

The Tank of Muddy Water

In my kitchen, I have two water tanks. One is crystal clear, and the other? A murky mess. The reason? Soil.

Originally, I put the soil in because I wanted to grow aquatic plants. But over time, I gave up on the plants, and the soil just sat there, making the water muddy. No matter how many times I changed the water, the tank stayed dirty. I kept replacing the water, but I never removed the root cause—the soil itself.

My wife, in her usual calm manner, looked at me and said, “Daniel, forget about changing the water. Just remove the soil. The mud will always return as long as the cause remains.”

That hit me.

It’s not about how much effort you put in—if you don’t deal with the root cause, nothing changes.

I hesitated. Removing the soil meant extra effort. I’d have to take out all the fish, drain the entire tank, remove the soil, replace it with rocks, refill it with fresh water, and then slowly reintroduce the fish. Too much work. But was it harder than constantly changing water and seeing no improvement?

That’s when I realized: We do this in life too.

We try to “change the water”—fix the symptoms, adjust the surface—while avoiding the real issue that keeps making things unclear.

旁观者清，当局者迷 (The Bystander Sees Clearly, But the One In It is Lost)

There’s an old Chinese saying: “旁观者清，当局者迷.”

“The bystander sees clearly; the one caught in it is lost.”

This is exactly what happened today.

This reminds me of a moment during a camping trip.

We had a fire that was starting to go out of control. We needed to put it out quickly. My first instinct was to look around for anything but my towel—a towel I had received from Pastor Timothy as a Father’s Day gift. It meant something to me.

I hesitated.

Even though I knew it could put out the fire, I was emotionally attached to it.

Then, before I could act, a young boy grabbed the towel, threw it on the fire, and—boom. Fire out.

I stood there, stunned.

Why had I hesitated? Because to me, the towel was special. But to the boy? It was just a towel. He had clarity. I had attachment.

This is what happens when you’re in the situation—you can’t see the obvious solution because you’re emotionally invested. But an outsider? They see clearly.

The woman I spoke to today? She’s trapped inside her own muddy tank. I see the solution clearly because I’m outside of it. But she can’t accept it because she’s drowning in her emotions.

The Five Levels of Help

Earlier today, I spoke with a woman who had decided to divorce her husband. She was emotionally drained, completely convinced that there was no way forward.

I had clarity about her situation—but clarity alone is useless if the other person isn’t ready to receive it.

There are five levels of help, and knowing when to stop is as important as knowing how to guide someone forward.

1. Listening (Outlet) – Sometimes, people don’t want solutions; they just need to be heard. At this level, your job is to let them speak, not to fix anything.
2. Comforting (Empathy) – At this level, you validate emotions. “I hear you. I understand why you feel this way.” Comfort doesn’t solve problems, but it helps someone feel less alone.
3. Offering Guidance (Counseling) – If they’re ready, you suggest solutions. “Have you considered speaking to a professional? Have you looked at other perspectives?”
4. Encouraging Commitment (Challenging) – This is where things get uncomfortable. “Before you make this decision, are you sure you’ve done everything possible to fix it?”
5. Unconditional Love (The Hardest Level) – Encouraging someone to love without expectation. This is the level few reach, because it requires seeing past personal pain to a bigger picture.

In this case, the woman was only ready for Level 1 and 2. The moment I tried to guide her further, she pushed back. “Don’t tell me to stay in this marriage. I’m done.”

She wasn’t rejecting my clarity. She just wasn’t ready for it yet.

The Three Steps to Clarity

Reflecting on all these conversations, I saw a pattern. Clarity isn’t just about seeing clearly—it’s about taking the right steps.

• Step 1: Identify the Root Cause – Remove the “soil.” Find what’s really making things muddy.
• Step 2: Clean the System – Don’t just swap the water. Take out the distractions, the emotional blockages, the past baggage.
• Step 3: Establish the New – Introduce a new way of thinking. A new framework, a new approach, a new commitment.

Most people try to skip to Step 3 before dealing with Step 1 and 2.

It doesn’t work.

Just like my muddy fish tank. Just like the fire I hesitated to put out. Just like the woman who wasn’t ready for Levels 3-5.

Strategy Coach: Breaking Down Complexity

As a trained strategy coach, my job is to break down complicated matters and simplify them to help my clients find the clarity they may not see on their own.

This process doesn’t just apply to personal issues—it applies to teams, businesses, and organizations.

For example, when evaluating our departments:

1. What practices are we doing well and should continue?
2. What are we doing that we should stop, and why?
3. What are we not doing that we should start?

This simple framework clears the mud and helps teams focus on what truly matters.

Final Reflection: The Real Test of Clarity

Clarity is not just about knowing what’s right—it’s about having the courage to act on it.

• How often do we keep “changing the water” in our lives without dealing with the soil?
• How often do we hesitate because we are emotionally attached to something that no longer serves us?
• How often do we think we have clarity, when in reality, we are only seeing a fraction of the truth?

If there’s one challenge I’d leave with you, it’s this:

• What’s the ‘mud’ in your life that you keep trying to clean instead of removing?
• What’s the ‘fire’ you’re hesitating to put out because you’re emotionally attached to something?
• What clarity do you have right now that you need to act on?

Because clarity without action? That’s just another kind of blindness.