When the Exam Was Never Just an Exam

It’s 11 July. A Thursday. I’ve been preparing my son for the past 2 weeks for his test. Not for the sake of the test, but for the sake of building up momentum through this moment. The exam is just one part of life. If we take this event seriously, it can have an impact that lasts far beyond the score.

It is not about the results. It is about the process. The process of building habits. The process of building trust and responsibility. The process of shaping resilience that will outlive any report card.

Tonight, during the closing prayer, Aden, Eann, and Evan mentioned they were happy that I bought bread for them. Aden thanked me for helping him do revision. That tiny moment tells me the process is working. It is a process of learning to carry what is his to carry. A test is just paper if there is no training for the heart behind it.

Balloons, Bread, and the Process of Becoming

If you see an exam only as an end goal, you miss the point. But if you see it as a process of alignment, of being present, then it becomes powerful.

Today I also met up with an influencer from LinkedIn. That conversation reminded me again: we are always in a process of building something greater than ourselves. Greater doesn’t mean richer or more expansive just for the sake of it. Greater means more meaningful. More anchored.

I rarely have motivation to meet strangers. Not unless I see some value that can be added to the team, the community, the bigger picture. That is how I use LinkedIn now. Not as a platform to shout into the void, but as a door that opens up real trust.

More Than Another Platform

These past months I have become more active on LinkedIn than ever. Not just for networking but for connecting the dots between people who want to grow. I used to see LinkedIn like Facebook but they are not the same. Facebook, Instagram, even WhatsApp statuses, they are too easy to become noise. But LinkedIn has the bones to become a process for something deeper.

I know where Facebook works. It reaches the middle-aged crowd like myself. Instagram for the younger ones. X, Meta, Red Note for niche corners. But LinkedIn, that is where I see the blue ocean. That is where real people meet for something beyond clicks and likes. That is where you find teammates who are not afraid to be broken together so they can be built back stronger.

Why You Cannot Find Purpose Alone

Why do I spend my time on this? Not for the sake of it. Not to collect followers. Not to sell. But because I want to build a place where my team can grow. So they have more than just direction, they have alignment.

At the end of the day, the message is simple. You cannot find purpose within yourself alone. Purpose is what overflows from you when you serve. The gift, the resource, the talent, none of it is meant to be contained. Life is not a zero-sum game. The more you give, the more you receive. But you have to give wisely. Over 40 years I have seen it. The more you build others, the more you are built in return.

Ryan, Sony, and Failing Forward

This is what I talked about with Ryan. He is in the middle of figuring out where he wants to be. Instead of sitting in confusion, he is choosing to seek. That is the difference. Actively seeking is different from being stuck. You can sit there blaming your environment, your fate, telling yourself you are a victim. Or you can do the extraordinary. Look for what is in your control and act on it.

Seek and you will find. It does not mean you will get it overnight. But you plant the seed when you move. You break the old by asking better questions.

Ryan reminded me of that story about balloons. If everyone just looks for their own, most never find it. But if everyone picks up any balloon and gives it to the rightful owner, everyone finds theirs. That is the principle. Those who lose their life for the sake of others find it.

Then he told me about that Sony Animations video. They did not get to the top by copying Pixar or Disney. They failed, learned, reinvented, until they found their own voice. It was not smooth. It cost them time, mistakes, burnout. But what it gave them back was resilience. The courage to fail forward. The sacrifice of comfort for innovation. The discipline of a clear vision that carries them through chaos.

That is the price. And it is worth it.

Broken to Serve

I see the same thing in my own life now. Daytime, I wake up, get Aden, Eann, and Evan ready, send them to school. Then I go to work, build what I can build. After work, I squeeze in a workout, rush home, teach the kids. Settle Loki the dog. Take 0.5 an hour for reflection, like I am doing now, then back to my wife, listen to her. I do not need her to clap for me. I am just doing what I am supposed to do.

Sometimes I ask myself, am I burning out? I probably fit the condition. But what keeps me going is this. There is no sacrifice too big when you know the meaning behind it. The night my daughter was born 10 days ago, I only slept 2 hours. And it was the fullest 2 hours of rest I have ever had. Because that sacrifice brought new life.

But if you spend that same energy on things that do not matter, meaningless scrolling, shallow entertainment, even 1 hour of sleep feels too heavy to give up. That is when you know the process is empty.

It is like going to the gym. You have to be broken to be stronger. Even a bone that breaks, if it heals right, grows back stronger at the fracture line. That is the paradox of life. The parts you are willing to break are the parts that hold you up when it matters most.

Build to Break, Break to Build

So here I am, half past midnight, house quiet, kids asleep. Loki is finally settled. I am turning this reflection into an article for myself first. Then for whoever else needs to hear it. Because I believe it is true. You need to be broken to be stronger.

This is the paradox I am choosing. Build to break. Break to build. Not once. Not twice. Again and again. So Aden, Eann, and Evan’s exams are not just about grades. They are training grounds to trust the process. So LinkedIn is not just another app. It is a real place to meet people worth building with. So my team does not pay the price of my fears because I did not break them open in time. So my wife knows I am here, present, listening, showing up again.

You do not grow by protecting what you were never meant to hold on to.

The Reverse That Redefines It All

The opposite of breaking is not wholeness. It is decay.

The opposite of building is not failing. It is refusing to fail at all.

If you cling to what should have been surrendered, you do not stay safe. You stay small.

Those who lose their life for the sake of purpose will gain it back, tenfold.

One Small Action, Every Day

Pick up someone’s balloon. Give it back.

Buy bread for your kids. Let them see it is not about the bread.

Show up at the meeting you do not feel ready for. Listen deeper.

Build to break. Break to build. Then do it again tomorrow.