How Expectation Shapes Legacy, Loyalty, and Impact

What If One Belief Quietly Decides How Far Someone Can Go?

In the 1960s, psychologist Robert Rosenthal discovered something powerful and deeply uncomfortable. He told teachers that certain students were “intellectual bloomers.” In reality, those students were chosen at random. By the end of the year, they scored up to 10 to 15 IQ points higher than their peers. Why? Because people do better when you expect them to.

This is the Rosenthal Effect, also called the Pygmalion Effect. John Maxwell calls this the Law of the Lid: your belief sets the limit on what people can become. Simon Sinek’s Start With Why reminds us that when people feel seen for a purpose bigger than the task, they stretch themselves beyond what they thought was possible. Expectation shapes reality. And that shapes legacy.

A Truth That Shows Up in Classrooms, Companies, and Living Rooms

I have seen this unfold across my own life, as an educator, a leader, and a parent.

Years ago, when I was teaching a foundation programme, there were two extremes under the same roof. One group, the A-Level students, were the scholarship holders, the so-called elite. They were the college’s pride and the ones everyone looked to for results. But the foundation and diploma students were labelled “second class.” They carried that label quietly, believing less was possible for them because that was what others expected.

But grades alone do not define a person’s worth. I have always felt that purpose, character, and a bigger story matter more than a line on a transcript. So I tried something small but different. I organised a college-wide event that crossed departments, blurred lines, and gave everyone a role that mattered. I did not expect miracles, but I believed the “second class” students could rise to it. And they did. They achieved things even the “elite” group did not imagine. They carried themselves differently. Some went on to university. Some became entrepreneurs. They were never short on talent. They just needed someone willing to see it before they could.

When Leadership Multiplies Belief

This same principle has shaped how I lead. Over the years, I have learned that titles and qualifications can help, but they can also get in the way if they make us feel too important to lift others up. At Stellar, we made a quiet but firm choice: hire for character first and train for skill later. We gave fresh graduates, people nobody else wanted to bet on, a chance to carry real responsibility. We told them, “You are trusted to do this well.” Many of them were surprised by that trust. Maybe that surprise made them work even harder to grow into it. Those so-called “inexperienced” people became the ones who built Stellar International School and shaped what Stellar Education Group stands for today. It was never about me. It was about showing someone you see more in them than they see in themselves and watching them rise.

The Parenting Mirror

This is not just about work. It lives in the family too. Just the other day, one of my children looked at me and said, “I think I am the dumb student in the class.” That hit harder than any business challenge ever could. I told him, “You have no idea how much more you are capable of. You are not behind. You are just under-practiced. If you practice consistently, you will surprise yourself and others too.” I reminded him that although they are not native Chinese speakers, he and his siblings memorised 24 ancient Chinese scriptures, some so long they would intimidate most adults, and they can explain them in English too. I told him, “If there was a scripture memory competition, you would be the champion for your age group. Not because you are my child, but because I know what is inside you before you do.”

Why the Science and Coaching Back It Up

Rosenthal’s study is not just a nice story. The science shows why it works. When someone feels trusted, their brain literally rewires. Mirror neurons reflect trust signals. Oxytocin, the trust hormone, rises. Cortisol, the stress hormone, drops. They step into a version of themselves they did not know was there. But when people feel you expect little, the Golem Effect quietly sets in. They shrink to match the label.

Gallup’s research echoes this truth. Teams led by high-trust leaders perform 20 to 30 percent better, not because they suddenly have more talent, but because belief shapes the small daily actions that build real growth.

As a business strategy coach, I have watched this same principle lift businesses too. Over the years, I have seen entrepreneurs grow three to four times, not because they stumbled on a secret tactic, but because they learned to get the fundamentals right. And the biggest fundamental? Killing off limiting beliefs that hold you back from building what you are already strong enough to handle. The Rosenthal Effect lives in boardrooms too. When you see yourself as able to do more, you build the structures to match it.

This is what NLP coaching calls “future pacing.” You speak to people as who they can become, not who they feel stuck being. I use this with my kids, my team, and my clients: “One day, you will be the one leading this.” It is not empty hype. It is planting a seed they will grow into. And we do not just look back with feedback. We give feedforward. “Next time, here is what I see you doing even better.” That simple shift says, “I already believe you can. Now let us walk there together.”

In an Asian context, there is also the everyday wisdom of mind over matter. Many people place faith in things like Feng Shui or good luck rituals. I am not against that at all. I know it brings many people comfort or a sense of alignment. But I have come to see these things only help as much as the mindset behind them. I do not claim to be above it. I just know that when you focus on strengthening your roots, your belief, your purpose, your fundamentals, the rest falls into place naturally. Without that, rituals risk turning into superstition, a hope for good fortune outside when the real breakthrough is still locked inside.

The flip side is true too. What you fear can come true. Fear shapes us as much as hope does. Think about the baby elephant tied to a small rope. When it is young, it learns it cannot break free. Years later, it is strong enough to snap that rope easily, but it does not even try. It is not the rope holding it back. It is its own belief system. That is the Golem Effect at its cruellest. You are stronger than you think, but you are stuck fighting a limit you tied around yourself.

How Big Vision Locks People In

This same pattern shows up on a grand scale. Look at SpaceX. They do not just build rockets. They say, “We will make humans multi-planetary.” That belief pulls every engineer, supplier, and partner out of today’s excuses. It shapes reusable rockets, orbital refuelling, and plans for life on Mars. But here is the hidden part. That belief is so big that people rarely jump ship. Other tech companies can offer more money, but they cannot offer Mars. When you belong to a mission that meaningful, you do not just work a job. You carry a legacy.

Why This Matters for Early Childhood

So what happens if we plant this same belief in every classroom, every preschool, every home? If our early childhood educators see every child as a hidden bloomer, not a fixed label to manage, we are not just raising grades. We are raising children who grow up ready to see the same possibility in others. That is how you build a culture that cannot be copied, because it lives in daily trust, not a file on a shelf. That is why at Stellar, we remind ourselves, “We believe in people more than they believe in themselves.” It is not a tagline. It is a commitment. And we choose to do it before we see the proof.

How to Make This Real

So how does this show up for you? If you are a parent, catch the quiet labels you speak or think. Talk future. Plant identity seeds early. I tell my children, and I tell our students too, “One day, the future Prime Minister may come from Stellar.” It is not a boast. It is a seed for them to grow roots. Celebrate effort. Praise character, not just the outcome. Let them fail safely so they learn to rise.

If you are a teacher, notice the child nobody calls on. Trust them with the tough question. Let them carry the small leadership role. Celebrate small steps forward. Tell their parents what you see. Belief doubles when it is shared.

If you are a leader, hold the line. You are a lid-lifter, not just a manager of tasks. Remind your people of Rosenthal’s study. Tell the elephant rope story. Make expecting bloomers the normal standard, not an annual slogan. Notice and honour the teachers who find hidden seeds and water them well. Build a mission so strong that your people feel they belong to something bigger. Other schools can match the salary, but they will not match the roots.

And when you feel your faith waver, remember: You do not believe because you see. You begin to see only if you believe.

The Question That Defines Legacy

When your children, your students, or your team speak of you someday, will they say, “They saw something in me before I did, and that is why I bloomed”?

That is the heart of Purposebility. Not bigger buildings or shinier logos, but people who grow past the lids the world tries to set. This is how we Lead to Impact, one hidden bloomer at a time.

And maybe the real question is this: Do you see yourself that way too?

Do you see yourself as the quiet superhero, the one who lifts lids for others, who plants seeds of belief before any proof appears, who turns everyday moments into turning points for someone else’s life?

Because that is what a parent does at the dinner table. That is what a teacher does when they trust a shy child to lead the line. That is what a leader does when they say, “We believe in people more than they believe in themselves.”

That is how you change a home, a classroom, a company, maybe even the world.

So what if you chose to believe before you see? What if that is how you become the superhero who leaves a legacy that outlives you?