Servant Leadership. Steward Leadership. Shepherd Leadership.

A Routine Broken on Purpose

It is 4 p.m. 13 July, 2025 and I’m lying here at my parents’ house. A very odd Sunday indeed. It’s been a really long time since I came back home. And I feel there’s more of this to come in the future. It’s refreshing to be home.

Routine is my best friend. Momentum is my best friend. But this momentum must serve to set me free, not keep me as a prisoner. So today I intentionally let myself go through the discomfort of getting out of the routine which I hold on to so much.

• Morning: wake the kids up.
• Afternoon: get things done.
• Evening: go work out, bring Loki for a walk, do my reflection, then accompany my wife.

These are my fixed anchors. The rest of the time is flexible but these anchors set the momentum of the day. But recently, it’s been out.

My reflection time is out at night, so the momentum of bringing Loki out at night is out too. Both things happened at the same time. And they’re out for a good reason so I’m not bogged down by routine when something greater is happening.

Sometimes the things that set us free can also become our blind spots.

When Focus Becomes Tunnel Vision

When we’re very caught up, very focused, we can miss everything else happening around us. So it’s important to pay attention.

Yesterday was a great day. Early in the morning we spent some time at the confinement center with the children. I even allowed them to sleep late for movie night. Why? Because Friday evening we had the Global Leadership Summit, and the topic was inspired by Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. He built Eleven Madison Park into the world’s best restaurant, not just because of the food, but because he taught his people to look for moments to serve beyond expectation. The key is understanding how serving and going the extra mile that most people don’t do can change everything at work, at home, anywhere you lead.

Just a little extra mile will bring you a long way. I have so many testimonies about this in my life. So what the speaker said really resonated. That night I allowed people to fellowship at my house. And people were amazed when I said I needed to leave.

I told them, “Hey guys, I’m going to my wife’s place because she’s at the confinement center. You guys carry on. See you later.” And they were like, “Hey, is this Daniel’s house? Why does he have to leave?”

Servant, Steward, Shepherd: The Bigger Lens

The idea is simple. I’m a steward of the house. Stewardship is a very beautiful concept of servant leadership. And when you dive in, there are three parts.

First is servant leadership. We become a leader in order to serve. Straightforward. Leadership is a ticket for us to serve humanity, society, something greater. But we need to define what are we serving with the leadership position we have.

Second is shepherd leadership. Leadership allows us to do pastoral care better. To shepherd people’s lives. To journey with them. To disciple them.

Third is steward leadership. Taking ownership of a task or responsibility given to us, not to set it as territorial, this is mine, that is yours. It goes beyond that.

I could get out of my own house because I am just a steward. It goes beyond ownership. I take the property and assets given to me as blessings to bless more people, not as assets that belong to me that I must protect.

Protect for what?

Use Things, Love People

We use things to love people. Or we use people and love things. Use people to build more things for ourselves. Is that what we want? Or use things, whatever blessings we hold, to bless more people.

生不带来, 死不再带去. Naked we come, naked we shall leave.

We bring nothing with us. We leave things behind for the betterment of others. That gap, the difference you make before you’re gone, defines the value of your existence. Even just a little bit is fine. It still makes a whole lot of difference.

Fatherhood Is Where It Starts

That Friday evening and Saturday reminded me why I do this. Friday night, I wanted to create fond memories for my children. I brought all of them to my wife’s confinement center. I want them to remember the new baby is not a threat. It is a blessing that makes our family happier.

It’s a reminder to myself. Even with a baby born, the existing children still matter.

All these rituals started when the second child was born. My wife breastfed the child, so the kids naturally became very attached to her. When the second child was born, my wife had to stop breastfeeding my first son. He refused to come with me. I took it for granted. I thought, okay, since you don’t want me, I’ll leave you alone. That was my early attitude.

Then I realised, this cannot go on anymore. I did a lot to win him over. Indoor playground. Hey, Daddy will bring you out to have fun at different places. Slowly I won him over. He accepted me, embraced me. I could put him to sleep. We built trust.

Until now my eldest is more attached to me than to his mother. When my third child came, I did the same with my second son. Bring him out, invest my time, if I do wrong, I apologise. Be vulnerable. Trust grows.

Now the fourth child is coming. Honestly, I am out of capacity. So I focus on my eldest and second son. But I know it’s time to do the same with my third son. He’s very attached to my mother, his grandma, which is not bad. But I know I have to do the same. Win his trust.

The Traditional Way and Where It Fails

Traditionally, I am the father. The authority figure. So the traditional way of thinking is, I am your father. You do what I say. By right, you should listen.

It’s true, we can use the authority. This hierarchy has existed for thousands, millions of years. But the key thing is this: trust and respect must be earned. The bond must be earned. It doesn’t forge itself automatically.

Why do I say that? We see it everywhere. When the father gets old, the children are there not to stay close, but to fight over property. 家破人亡. The house breaks, the family breaks. The father never learned to come down, sit at the same level, talk to the children as a friend, build trust.

What Happens When Power Turns Back

When we play the power game with our children, we train them to play the same power game back. It’s not revenge. It’s the script we gave them.

As they grow up, they gain more power, more independence, more financial freedom. They become stronger. We grow weaker. And when our authority is gone, what protects us then?

Just like some CEOs who lord over people because of the title. When the CEO title is gone, what’s left? People will stop looking at you as the CEO. They will look at you as just another person.

So I would say, build up the muscle. Build up trust. Build up real relationships. That is what lasts when the armour is gone.

Same Human Being at Home and at Work

It starts at home. But the same principle applies at work. We’re dealing with the same human being. Whether at home or in the company, it is still the same person. Yes, we dress up differently. We act more professional, more self-disciplined. But we’re still human.

So in corporate leadership, use your position not to protect your authority but to care, to serve, to take responsibility for people’s well-being.

When your title is gone, what’s left is the bond. The friendship. That doesn’t go away.

A Real Example: Pekin Restaurant in Johor Bahru

I’ve seen this happen during COVID. Pekin Restaurant in Johor Bahru, many of the staff have stayed 10, 20, even 30 years. When crisis came, some took their own savings to help the restaurant stay afloat.

Why? Not because of fear. Not because of contract. But because the founder built trust. They stayed because they love the company, the leader. This is not in the business textbook. But it is real.

What Gallup and Biology Confirm

Gallup says it too. 70% of the variance in team engagement is because of the manager. Not the salary. Not the perks. The leader.

Biology shows the same. Authority triggers fear. The amygdala fires up. You get compliance but you don’t get loyalty. Trust and love sit in the prefrontal cortex. That is what keeps people close long after you’re gone.

This Is the Real Sustainable

I always come back to this when I compare it to what I studied. Bachelor’s, Master’s, CPA Australia. They teach you how to play not to lose. Taxation law, compliance, sustainability. These are important. But real sustainability is not from governance or a policy manual.

Real sustainability starts when the leader rises as a servant, a steward, a shepherd. When the leader chooses to care, not just to command. To see people as people, not just a resource.

That’s why some businesses survive crises when others collapse. That’s why a family stays strong when others break apart. It’s trust. It’s love. It’s how you hold what’s given to you, not for yourself alone.

A Gentle Trust Audit

So these days, when I lie here at my parents’ house and let my mind slow down, I ask myself:

• Where am I relying too much on my routine and momentum to feel in control?
• Where do I still lead my children from authority instead of trust?
• Where do I need to apologise, even if it feels small?
• Where do I hide behind my title at work instead of showing up as a friend?
• What will remain when my authority fades?

These questions keep me honest. They remind me what I am really building.

The Reverse That Redefines It All

The opposite of losing authority isn’t keeping more of it.

The opposite is earning trust that stays when the authority is gone.

Authority is what people obey when they have no choice.

Trust is what people hold onto when they have every choice.

One day, your title will be gone. Your strength will fade. Naked you came, naked you will lead, naked you will leave. What you built in trust will be the only armor you have left.

A Small Invitation

So if you ever wonder, am I protecting what’s mine, or blessing what was never really mine to keep, remember this.

Be a servant. Be a steward. Be a shepherd. Use the leadership you hold not to build a fortress, but to build trust that lives beyond you.

May your children stand by you because they want to.

May your team stay when they could walk away.

May the people who know you feel they were loved more than they were used.

That is the real sustainability. That is the legacy that no power can buy.

生不带来, 死不再带去. Naked we come, naked we shall leave.

The rest: trust, love, people, is all that stays.