In my daily life, I often find myself in situations where many things demand my attention. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on a principle that shapes one of my approach to life and leadership: Go passive to go active. It’s a phrase that encapsulates how I try to lead, manage priorities, and engage with those around me. I’ll admit that I don’t always get it right—this is something I’m still working on as I strive to become a better leader.
Passively Talking, Actively Listening
I’m not typically the first to speak in a group setting. Instead, I prefer to listen to everyone’s perspectives before forming my own. My introverted and shy nature has actually helped me in this regard, as I tend to step back and absorb the room before contributing. This approach helps me avoid making assumptions and ensures I have a clear understanding of the situation before I engage.
I’m aware that not everyone’s priorities align with mine, and I respect that. As the CEO of Stellar, many topics are brought up by different people on a daily basis, and I’ve learned that not all of them hold equal weight from my perspective. Still, it’s our responsibility as leaders to create a culture where communication is valued. We should aim to maximize respect and alignment while minimizing unnecessary conflict in a complex environment where people have varying priorities.
One thing I strive for is passively talking but actively listening. I don’t rush to speak first in meetings or conversations. Instead, I allow others to voice their thoughts and concerns first. I find that when I do speak, it’s not to dominate the conversation, but to contribute thoughtfully and intentionally. Active listening ensures that, when I do share, I add value rather than noise.
When to Say No: The Evolution of Time Management
When we were young, we often picked up a timetable template and filled in our activities according to available time slots. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it worked well in helping us build discipline, establish routines, and get things done efficiently. For students, or for those still figuring out what they want to do, this method is helpful.
However, as I’ve progressed in my role and responsibilities, I’ve realized that what I need now is clear priority management. Rather than deciding what to put on my calendar, I need to focus on what to remove from it. When three or four things demand my attention at once, I have to be passive in my response. This means not being too quick to say yes and avoiding over-committing. Instead of filling my day with tasks, I must be discerning and deliberate in deciding what truly requires my attention. This allows me to be more present and purposeful in the actions I take.
When to Take an Active Role
Of course, not everything can be approached passively. There are many times when we’re required to take an active role. For example, as a father, I need to play an active role in nurturing my family. It’s my responsibility to actively care for my spouse—her well-being, our marriage, and to plan ways to improve our relationship. The same goes for my children. I must actively guide their spiritual lives and help them grow in their relationship with God, spending time with parents, etc. These are areas where passivity won’t do. We need to take active, intentional steps to care for the people in our lives and nurture those relationships.
Productive Procrastination and the Dangers of Busyness
Being driven sometimes makes it easy to fall into the trap of productive procrastination, where less important tasks are given priority because they offer a quick sense of accomplishment. I’m guilty of this at times, and I remind myself that busyness should never overshadow our true priorities. While there’s satisfaction in crossing off items on a to-do list, I’ve learned that it’s just as important to slow down, reflect, and ensure we’re focusing on what truly matters—our long-term goals, relationships, and life purpose.
We need to ask ourselves and constantly evaluate: Is there anything important we’ve overlooked while being so busy? Have we neglected our life purpose? What about our loved ones—our spouse, children, or parents? These questions help keep us grounded and prevent us from missing out on the relationships that truly matter.
Passive in Action, Active in Purpose
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in time management, focusing on efficiency and speed. While I appreciate the importance of being productive, I believe prioritizing purpose is even more crucial. Instead of packing my schedule with endless tasks, I try to focus on what’s most important and eliminate distractions. Busyness isn’t a virtue; in fact, it can often distract us from the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
We should recognize the difference between significance and success. It’s easy to chase the dopamine rush that comes from completing small tasks, but doing so can blind us to what really matters—deeper relationships, spiritual growth, and our larger life goals. By focusing on being passive in action but active in purpose, we can align our daily tasks with what’s truly meaningful.
Relationships Approach: Passive Response, Active Understanding
It’s a privilege when friends or colleagues trust us enough to share their feedback or feelings. The temptation is often to jump in and offer solutions, but I’m learning that taking a passive response—by not reacting immediately—helps me avoid overreacting or falling into the trap of gossip or judgment. When we give ourselves time to understand the root of the issue, we can offer more thoughtful and compassionate responses.
We need to ensure our focus is on the person. What is really bothering them? Why did they bring up the issue? Often, when someone complains about another person, the real problem doesn’t lie with that individual. As leaders and friends, our role is to be good listeners and acknowledge their feelings. While it’s important to let them express their frustrations, we must be careful not to fall into the trap of discussing the other person negatively.
Most of the time, people just need someone to hear them out and acknowledge their emotions. But sometimes, action is required. How do we decide when to take action and when to hold back? It’s about developing observation skills—the ability to understand situations at a deeper level. If we rush to conclusions or act on assumptions, we might make the wrong judgment. Many conflicts arise not because the situation is dire, but because someone lacks emotional intelligence. It’s important to take a step back, observe the situation, and understand the concerns before making a decision.
Stopping Gossip and Preventing Conflict
A lot of conflict can be avoided simply by choosing to stop gossip. When we actively decide not to perpetuate negativity, we can prevent the spread of misunderstandings and tension. At our end, we have the power to stop gossip and minimize conflict. By focusing on understanding rather than reacting, we can create a culture of trust and respect within our teams and relationships.
This passive approach in responding allows us to better understand what’s truly going on, without making hasty judgments. Empathy is essential, but so is staying grounded in truth. I’m still learning how to navigate this balance, but I’ve found that not reacting too quickly leads to more productive conversations and helps avoid unnecessary conflict.
5 Whys: Active Reflection for Clearer Decisions
I’ve learned that asking “why” five times is a helpful technique to uncover underlying concerns that may not be immediately visible. When we give people space to voice their thoughts and feelings, they often come to realize the true nature of their concerns. As leaders, our role is to live life with others, not solve everything for them. By taking a step back and guiding them to reflect, we help them come to their own conclusions.
In leadership, knowing when to be passive and when to be active is key. There are times when urgency is required—such as in matters of life and death—but more often, being deliberate and thoughtful brings better outcomes than acting quickly. Taking a passive stance initially allows us to gather more information and avoid assumptions, which leads to more intentional action later.
Conclusion: “Go Passive to Go Active” Leadership
I don’t claim to have mastered this, but I strive to adopt the mindset of going passive to go active in the areas that matter. By stepping back when necessary, I allow myself to become more intentional and purposeful when action is required. Whether in managing time, handling relationships, or making decisions, I hope to focus on what’s significant, avoid the traps of busyness and gossip, and lead with humility, clarity, and intentionality. It’s a work in progress, but one I’m committed to pursuing.
Leave a Reply