I Am Driving a Logo Car

Date: 18th August 2024, Sunday

Introduction: A Day with Family

Today is Sunday, the 18th of August, 2024—a day that I cherish as I get to spend precious time with my parents, my children, and my dad’s elder sister. Early in the morning, we went to pick them up from their house. The kids were looking forward to our visit to the durian farm, enjoying the ride in the car. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I’m making the most of each moment, soaking in the timelessness of today.

Dinner with Pastor Shawn: A Lesson in Differences

Last night, we brought Ps Shawn for dinner, observing how my wife interacted with him. My wife and I are quite different in our thought processes, perspectives, and priorities. So, I let my wife talk to him about her concerns. Since her perspective is different from mine, I allowed her to engage with him freely. During the dinner, she suddenly asked me about our plans for today’s trip to the durian farm. I knew we were supposed to enjoy durian and do some light hiking, but I didn’t have all the details. So, I called Joshua to get more information and asked my wife if she was satisfied with the details.

I’m the type of person who can be very impromptu—I don’t need all the information to move forward, which explains why I can attend different meetings and events with minimal preparation, adjusting as the situation demands. Unfortunately, this is not a style my wife appreciates, and I respect that. I told Joshua about the details and shared them with my wife. She asked for more specifics because she doesn’t enjoy sweating or working out. Out of respect, I told her she could opt out if it wasn’t something she wanted to do. Although I meant it neutrally, she was a bit upset about it. Despite the slight unpleasantness, we were able to continue our dinner.

This morning, she shared her true feelings, expressing that she felt rejected by my suggestion to opt out. From her perspective, I was making decisions for her, which I shouldn’t do. I explained that my statement was made out of concern and good intentions. For example, I know she loves trying different kinds of food, so I always include her in plans involving meals with guests. But I also know she doesn’t enjoy working out or sweating under the sun, which is why I suggested she could opt out. My intention was to respect her preferences.

The Logo Car: A Reflection on Responsibility

The title “I Am Driving a Logo Car” connects to this story in a meaningful way. Years ago, when we first bought our school van, we put a logo on it. This multipurpose van (MPV) served various purposes: during weekdays, it was used to transport students, as a company car to bring people around, and as our private car to take family trips. With just one car, we could transport six or seven people together, making it very convenient. Back in 2018, it was fun bringing this car around—it felt like going on vacation during every trip.

However, there was a slight problem: we were driving a car with a logo. The difference between driving with or without a logo is significant. With the logo, we had to be on our best behavior—we couldn’t speed, cut queues, or drive recklessly because it reflected on the company’s image. We had to be mindful of our driving, and this situation lasted for three to four years. Eventually, it shaped our driving behavior. Now, even though I’m currently driving an Alphard without a logo, my driving habits have been molded by those years of being conscious of the company’s image.

This experience got me thinking about life, especially when you have children. When you don’t have children, you live differently. But once you become a parent, your behavior is constantly observed by your children. For me, it makes a big difference knowing that my children are always watching how I make decisions. My eldest son, who has a sharp eye for human behavior, once made an interesting observation. He asked, “Dad, why do you behave differently when there are guests in our house and when there are no guests?” I asked him what differences he noticed, and he pointed out that I’m nicer when guests are around but seem fiercer when they’re not.

This made me reflect on my behavior. I asked him if he would prefer me to be fierce when people are around or if he appreciates my kindness and respect when guests are present. Of course, he preferred that I be nice. At other times, he’s also commented on things like my phone usage. He asked, “Why do you tell us not to be addicted to the phone, but you’re on your phone all the time?” I explained that I use my phone for work, but it made me think I should be more mindful of my behavior when I’m with them and reflect on whether I’m giving them my full attention.

This reflection led me to realize that wearing the hat of a father is similar to driving a logo car. When we first started our preschool, I knew very few people, and very few people knew me. I felt free and easy wherever I went. If I encountered someone who made me uncomfortable, I might argue with them, even with a security guard. I lived as if there were no consequences to my actions.

The Public Face: The Burden and Freedom of Being Recognized

As we started the international school, I began to experience situations that made me rethink my behavior. Once, a friend invited me to swim in his apartment’s pool, and one of our friends suggested bringing beer to enjoy by the poolside. We thought it was a good idea, so we brought some beer and enjoyed ourselves. It was the first time in my life that I had beer by the poolside, and it was a cool experience.

Suddenly, a lady approached me and asked, “Hey, aren’t you Daniel, the founder of Stellar?” I was shocked. I’m not a good drinker, and I started to feel dizzy after just a few sips. The way she looked at me felt judgmental. I immediately became conscious and replied, “Yes, I am Daniel. How can I help you?” She simply said, “Oh, nothing much. Just wanted to make sure you’re Daniel. Enjoy!” and walked off.

I’ve also experienced being photographed in public without my knowledge. Once, while having a meal at a restaurant, a friend forwarded me an image of myself eating there, which had been captured by CCTV. Another time, people took photos of me enjoying myself, and the images were eventually circulated back to me. As our company grew, more and more people recognized me. I felt like I was no longer driving a car with a logo but wearing a logo on my face because people could identify me.

On one hand, this might seem like a scary lifestyle because I always have to put up the face of Stellar wherever I go. I don’t deny that sometimes it feels that way. But over the years, I’ve started to get used to it. It’s like driving and consciously knowing you need to be a good driver. The outcome is that your passengers feel safe, secure, and comfortable with your driving. You ensure not only their safety but also the safety of other road users.

Challenges in Maintaining Authenticity

Living almost as a public figure, where your face represents an organization, changes you. We all live in a world where we’re often evaluated and judged. The only way to live a fulfilled life with full freedom is to align our public persona with our true selves. When we achieve this alignment, we experience true freedom. Real freedom doesn’t come from doing whatever we want but from having the freedom to choose what not to do.

For example, is getting angry a sin? No. If it were, why would our bodies be designed to feel anger? There’s a purpose for anger—to protect, not to hurt. Similarly, sadness isn’t meant to harm but to protect. Even our biological needs, such as sexual desire, are not there to encourage a lustful life but to foster intimacy and reproduction. Understanding the original purpose behind these emotions and desires helps us avoid abusing them, leading to true freedom. True freedom is not about the freedom to act out of control but the freedom to choose not to harm others, even when we’re angry.

As parents, public figures or representatives of an organization, we might initially feel that we’ve lost our privacy and freedom. But in the long term, we achieve true freedom by aligning our actions with our values. When your actions reflect something greater than yourself, it’s no longer just about you. Choosing an organization that aligns with your values makes this process easier because you can be yourself in the company without putting up a fake front. Faking it would be draining to your core beliefs about what’s right, how to behave, and what to do or not to do.

But … how can we tell if we’re truly aligned with our values?

Well, it’s pretty simple. When a colleague or subordinate asks why we do things in a certain way, and our answer is simply, “I don’t know, the boss wants it that way, just do it,” we are reflecting a culture that is far from ideal. This is a very scary statement—more toxic than one might imagine. It signifies a disconnect from servant leadership, which is about guiding others with purpose and integrity, not blindly following orders. Such a response is a reflection of the worst culture someone could ask for, completely against the values of servant leadership.

The Journey Towards True Freedom

The journey of aligning your actions with your values is one of constant growth and self-reflection. It’s about recognizing that freedom doesn’t come from doing whatever you want but from having the wisdom to choose what is right, even when it’s difficult.

Driving a logo car was more than just a practical decision; it became a symbol of responsibility and accountability. It reminded me that my actions reflected not just on myself but on the organization and the people I care about. This consciousness gradually shaped my behavior, not out of fear of judgment, but out of a desire to live a life that aligns with my core values.

As I transitioned from the logo car to becoming a father or even a public figure, this sense of responsibility deepened. I realized that my children, my family, and even the community look to me not just for guidance but as a model of consistency and integrity. This awareness doesn’t restrict my freedom; instead, it liberates me to live authentically, knowing that my actions align with who I truly am.

In this journey, the importance of accountability cannot be overstated. Whether it’s being accountable to your family, your community, or yourself, it helps ensure that your actions are aligned with your beliefs. Over time, this alignment becomes second nature, and you begin to experience a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment.

Living authentically isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. It’s about making conscious choices that reflect your true self, even when faced with challenges or contradictions. By embracing who you are and the values you hold dear, you not only find true freedom but also have a positive impact on those around you.

So, whether you’re driving a logo car or navigating the complexities of life, remember that your actions have a ripple effect. By staying true to yourself and aligning your actions with your values, you can live a life of integrity, fulfillment, and lasting peace.