Turning 37 this year, thoughts about the end of life have been constantly on my mind. Attending many funerals this year has made me even more vulnerable. Each one has pierced my heart. When escape from life seems impossible, we begin to ask ourselves how to live. Since life is short and we are all going to die anyway, the question becomes…
What is the Meaning of Life?
These profound questions have led me on a journey of self-discovery on what I want and don’t want. It’s a double-edged sword. I realize that while focusing on finding life’s true meaning, I’ve strayed further and further from a mainstream lifestyle, and perhaps even created a blind spot for myself. For example, chasing material possessions feels like chasing the wind to me. It’s no longer something I pursue as I’m deeply focused on expanding the school, building a model that will support and empower educators to become edupreneurs, fostering my children’s character development, serving in ministry, growing as a leader and steward, and so on. Recently, I’ve come to understand that this intense focus might not be entirely positive if not handled well. How do we achieve balance? How can we be part of the world without being consumed by it? How can I maintain clarity about my life’s purpose while remaining sensitive to those still pursuing material possessions and haven’t discovered their purpose yet? Ultimately, my life’s purpose is to help others find theirs. How can I best facilitate this process?
Recent reflection
These are big questions, and they led me to another realization: I realized I’ve been neglecting the people under my care. Respect isn’t earned by being strange or odd. We gain trust by being humble, willing to listen, and striving to understand from others’ perspectives. After all, everyone faces different struggles and is at a different stage in life. How can I expect a child to understand what it’s like to be a father? As fathers, we pour unconditional love onto our children, while guiding them to be socially accepted, relevant to society, able to survive within it, and ultimately find their purpose in this chaotic world. That’s all we can do: love them, guide them, and allow them to navigate their own life journeys, both pleasant and challenging. Growth towards maturity requires them to experience these things. We must be patient. These are some of the recent reflections on what I’ve been missing. Consequently, I get frustrated when people think differently, having not shared my experiences or vice versa. That’s why understanding is crucial. As a leader, it’s unrealistic to expect understanding from our teams. We must model it first, no matter how difficult. Every time we fail to understand, we should reflect: Why did we fail? Were we overwhelmed? Did we reach our capacity? Regardless of the reason, a smooth sea never makes a skilled sailor. It simply means we haven’t yet developed the maturity as a leader to fully support our team. We can either build our capacity for this or create a system that can sustain the growth of a growing team or organization.
Okay, let’s set that aside and return to the original question: How to Live Up to 999 Years?
First, why am I even thinking about this?
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:12
I remember first hearing this verse as a young teenager, maybe around 15. I can’t recall exactly. However, there was a time when I had a terrible argument with my mom. I was quite disrespectful during my rebellious stage, and I began to form my own independent thoughts. My mom suddenly told me that honoring her was to my advantage because it would lead to a long life. This verse has been echoing in my mind lately as I’ve lost several friends recently.
Does the fact that our former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir and his wife, Tun Dr Siti Hasmah, are such filial children explain why they are nearing 100 years old and still physically fit and mentally sharp? Yet, I also know extremely filial people who haven’t lived as long as expected.
Here are my conclusions about what it means to “live long”:
- “You May” Live Long, Not “Will”: Following the advice of parents (who are supposedly wiser) could help us avoid unnecessary mistakes or accidents, potentially leading to a longer life.
- Mental and Spiritual Health: Honoring our parents can contribute to better mental and spiritual health, which could possibly lead to a longer life.
- Quality over Quantity: “Living long” might refer to a more fulfilled life, rather than just the number of years lived. It’s about the “life in your years” that matters, not the “years in your life.”
Focusing on a Fulfilling Life
Today, I’ll focus on the factor we have complete control over: #3, a more fulfilled life — the quality of life within our years.
Two years ago, we engaged 10x as our business strategy coach because of their two strategy wheels: the John1010 Life Wheel and the Business Strategy Wheel. There were two main reasons:
- Clarity is Power: We gain better insights when we have clarity. For the first time, I saw a clear picture of the 10 areas of business, my perspective as a leader, and later, my team’s perspectives on those same 10 areas, all presented in a graph format. This simplified complex matters by narrowing them down to the 3 areas we should focus on at any given time.
- Work-Life Integration: For some, work is life. For others, work is to support life. Whether work is part of life or separate from personal life, they are somehow connected, and one affects the other. The second wheel 10x presented was the John1010 Life Wheel. This was the first time I saw what matters in life, separated into 10 areas.
Practice Makes Progress
Since then, I’ve been practicing using these wheels with colleagues, friends, and family. I even became a coach myself. Like anything else in life, whether it’s good advice, a healthy lifestyle, or a good habit, improvement doesn’t come from simply knowing; it comes from consistent practice, reflection, and action. Rome wasn’t built in a day; muscle doesn’t build overnight either. It requires consistent effort to overcome current situations. Things are simply simpler, but not easier, and there’s no quick fix. So, don’t lose heart if you’ve just started taking action.
For example, when demonstrating the John1010 Life Wheel to some of my team members, I wanted to be authentic. We rate all 10 aspects of our lives, then choose 3 areas of focus for that season, along with one action plan to improve each area by one point. I noticed my “Love & Romance” aspect was consistently low, but initially, I was stuck on the action plan. I didn’t know where to start or how to proceed as the problem in our marriage had been there for years, and it seemed hopeless. After a few rounds of practicing the John1010 Life Wheel, I started writing “get a marriage counselor” on my action plan. We’ve been going to marriage counseling consistently for 1.5 years now. In total, we’ve been blessed to have two marriage counselors, one mentor, and one marriage coach journey with us. The improvement has been so significant that I won the bronze prize for life transformation in 2023. Even though our marriage is fundamentally sound now, we continue to see our marriage counselor and participate in a marriage accountability group with five other married couples. This is just one example of how the John1010 Life Wheel has been remarkable for me.
Reflecting further, I’ve also improved on “Home & Family,” “Health & Fitness” (it was good, but I intentionally made it better), “Community & Contribution,” “Play & Relaxation,” “Friends & Social,” and “Knowledge & Wisdom.” All of these improvements required a high level of commitment and consistent effort. The starting point is always acknowledging our ignorance about what truly matters in life. With the right actions and support, the situation shouldn’t and won’t stop there.
“The ignorant are ignorant of their ignorance“
Peter Baskerville
The Remaining Areas
I’ve mentioned improvement in seven areas of life. You might be wondering about the other three: “God & Purpose,” “Business & Career,” and “Money & Finance.”
- God & Purpose: I’ve become highly purpose-driven ever since becoming a dad in 2018.
- Business & Career: A large part of my life has been driving “Business & Career” forward in order to impact lives. Additionally, this area is addressed through the Business Strategy Wheel (another 10 areas of business improvement).
- Money & Finance: Money and finance have never been my primary motivators, so they haven’t been a priority on my list.
Integration: The Key to Juggling It All
You might think that being a CEO grants me an abundance of free time to manage all these life areas. However, that’s totally not true. I am extremely busy, and like everyone else, I have a limited number of hours in each day. The key lies in intentionality and prioritization. Integration isn’t about adding more to your plate; it’s about strategically combining existing activities and address multiple areas simultaneously.
A Day in the Life: Thursday
In the interest of keeping this blog post concise, I’ll focus on a single day of my week — Thursday.
Family Day:
Last year, Thursday transformed from a simple “date lunch” to “family day.” Why Thursday? It’s simply because Thursdays typically have the fewest meetings. Our “date lunch” hasn’t always been consistent due to challenges, but it’s become a wonderful routine. Being blessed to work at the same place gives us both headaches and also conveniences. Every Thursday, I take my wife out for a date lunch. We will spend around an hour, so we choose restaurants within a 15-minute drive to minimize travel time (allowing for talking) and maximize lunch time (also for talking). Every other Thursday, we schedule marriage counseling either before or after lunch, depending on our counselor’s availability. Interestingly, we often find ourselves discussing buried issues that resurface during these sessions. Work can train us to compartmentalize, which isn’t helpful for our marriage. This small, consistent commitment has significantly improved our “Love & Romance” over the years.
Health & Fitness with Family:
Except for Thursdays, I work out and swim with colleagues and friends every day after work. However, on Thursdays, I head straight home at 5:30 pm to take my children for an evening run. While running with them, I time them and record their progress. They often unknowingly run close to 3 kilometers, even my youngest, who’s only 3 years old. When he asks me to carry him, I know he’s truly exhausted. This activity fulfills both “Health & Fitness” and “Home & Family.”
We then have dinner together, followed by children’s Bible study and worship from 8:00 pm to 8:30 pm. This strengthens “God & Purpose,” “Home & Family,” and to some extent, “Knowledge & Wisdom.” The Bible offers a wealth of wisdom, and I use this opportunity to improve my children’s Mandarin, which they’ve been resistant to learn. They enjoy the worship sessions (conducted in Mandarin), and their scripture memory verses are bilingual (English and Mandarin).
Believing that “true happiness is found in helping others,” I began inviting other parents and their young children to join our Thursday fellowship sessions. They’ve been happy to participate, and last week, even a three-generation family joined us! It was a beautiful scene. Though our session ended, we continued to enjoy conversation with the family. This aspect strengthens “Friends & Social” and “Community & Contribution.” We open our home to others, fostering stronger community bonds with children. It’s also become a time of “Play & Relaxation” for me — All happening on a normal workday, not a holiday. So this Thursday activity also touches upon “Business & Career.” Aside from “Money & Finance,” I manage to hit most areas for John1010 Life Wheel in just one single day.
Integration is Key
The key takeaway is integration. Some people can live a fulfilling life in a single day, while others spend weeks, months, or even years achieving little. Since life is short, integration allows us to live a fulfilling life, as if we had 999 years. It’s about hitting multiple focus areas with one or a few activities. Here’s how it plays out in my case:
- Thursdays are less demanding, so why not utilize the time for marriage counseling?
- We need lunch anyway, so why not make it a date lunch?
- Exercise is necessary, so why not do it with the kids and promote healthy habits together? (I exercise with friends and colleagues on other days.)
- Mandarin instruction is needed, so why not conduct it through worship, prayer, and Bible study?
- Bible study sessions are prepared anyway, so why not invite others to benefit as well?
This approach could be called intentional leadership or discipleship. We strive to add value to others’ lives and make our ordinary days more meaningful. It’s about impacting lives, communities, and the nation, one person at a time. All of this can be achieved without a significant increase in effort. Living a fulfilling life is far more meaningful than simply living a long life. Ultimately, living a fulfilling life equivalent to 999 years doesn’t require a long lifespan.
In the end, just like a bright flame is more important than the number of candles, it is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that truly matters.
Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] if you’d like to understand how to improve your business and life better. I would be glad to journey with you as a 10X strategy coach. Enjoy your weekend!
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