When One Decision Rebuilds the Whole Life

18 December 2025, 23:55.
13 days to the end of the year.

Lately, every day feels more precious. Not because something dramatic happened, but because time is doing what time always does, it keeps moving, whether I am ready or not. I am 38 now. In 18 more days, I will step out of my thirties. That awareness alone changes how a day feels.

The first time I remember feeling truly “adult” was at 19.

In Bahasa, 19 is Sembilan Belas. Belas means below 20. During my internship, I once went out with a group of Malay colleagues. When they asked my age and I said 19, they smiled. “-Belas,” they said, a little envious. At that age, you may not have much, but you feel like you have time. Endless runway. Plenty of room to make mistakes.

That moment still feels close enough to touch. And yet, 20 years have passed.

Primary school once felt like it would never end. Secondary school now feels like another lifetime altogether. Time did not announce its speed. It simply moved, day by day, until suddenly it felt fast.

Why Time Feels Like It Accelerates

There is a reason this awareness sharpens with age. As we grow older, each year becomes a smaller fraction of our total lived experience. Time feels faster, not because the clock has changed, but because our perception has.

Even weekends feel different. On paper, if you use an average lifespan of 80 years, at 38 you have lived about 48 percent of your weekends. In reality, earlier weekends carried a kind of freedom and energy that later weekends rarely do. Later weekends still exist, but they carry more responsibility, more stewardship, more people, more consequence.

And so the internal question changes quietly.

When you are younger, you ask what you can do.
As you grow older, you begin asking what is worth doing.

Domino Thinking: The Search for Leverage Across Life

For the past 2 years, one word has guided much of my thinking: domino.

With only 24 hours in a day, what is the one thing that creates the greatest return across life, not only in work, but in who I become? One action that knocks down many others.

Health became one of those dominos for me. People around me know I go to the gym at 5:30 almost daily. On the surface, it looks like a fitness habit. In reality, it touches far more than the body. It builds a workout and cycling community. It creates conversations. It forms relationships. It affects my energy and clarity at work. It even shapes how I rest.

I have always been drawn to activities that do not serve only 1 purpose. Even tonight, I am walking my dog, Loki. That single walk improves my body. At the same time, I reflect, which sharpens my mind. Later, I will tidy these thoughts into writing, which brings clarity. When I share it, it becomes contribution. Sometimes it encourages someone else. Sometimes my children see this rhythm and learn that reflection, discipline, and contribution are not separate lives. They are one life, lived with intention.

This is domino thinking. It is practical. It respects the limits of time.

Momentous Thinking: The Upgrade That Dominoes Cannot Replace

Tonight, another word rose to the surface and felt heavier.

Momentous.

A momentous moment is not just a productive habit. It is a moment or decision that carries lasting significance and consequence. It changes what happens next, but more importantly, it changes who you are when you walk into the next chapter.

Domino thinking optimises life.
Momentous thinking upgrades life.

Domino thinking helps you choose actions that touch many areas at once. Momentous thinking helps you recognise the few decisions that change identity first, and then everything else reorganises naturally around that new centre.

The Life Wheel That Has Been Living in My Mind

I have thought about the Life Wheel for many years, long enough to remember it by heart and try to live it out. Over time, I began to see life through 3 broad domains, even though I am still refining the language.

There is Being, which includes body, mind, and spirit.
There is Bonding, which includes love, family, and community.
And there is Building, which includes work, money, and play.

The healthiest life is not perfectly balanced. It is integrated. The parts speak to each other.

Dominos help with integration.

Momentous moments do something deeper. They change identity first.

Parenthood: The First Momentous Moment I Cannot Deny

There is a quote that still captures parenting better than anything else I have read.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone.

That sentence stopped being poetic once I became a father. It became literal.

When I became a parent, every part of life upgraded.

My body mattered more. Endurance became non negotiable. Sleep, food, and basic care were no longer optional because I was no longer living only for myself.

My mind mattered more. I needed wisdom, not just information. Wanting to be a good father forced me to learn, to grow, to confront my limitations.

My spirit mattered more. Purpose stopped being a nice idea and became central. When someone depends on you, shallow living no longer works.

My love matured. I had to become a better husband. I learned that love is not only a feeling. Love is proactive action. Patience, presence, choosing again.

Family life deepened. Even as a son, my gratitude toward my parents increased. You only fully understand what they carried when you carry something similar yourself.

My sense of community changed. Parenthood teaches protection and care in a way theory never can. You begin to see the world through responsibility, not opinion.

Work changed. Leadership stopped being a role and became stewardship.

Money changed. Provision became a form of love, not greed, not fear, but responsibility.

Even play changed. Places like Legoland became meaningful, not because of the rides, but because of the memories being built.

First child, momentous.
Second child, momentous.
Third child, momentous.
Fourth child, momentous.

It is not simply plus 1 each time. Each child opens a new dimension of responsibility, empathy, and perspective. The questions you ask yourself change. The risks you tolerate change. The way you spend a quiet evening changes.

Other Momentous Moments That Function Like Parenting

Over time, I realised that parenting is not the only momentous moment. It may be the most visible one, but there are others that function the same way. They do not just add tasks. They rewrite identity.

Losing a parent, or someone who once held you up, is one of those moments. For many people, this is when adulthood truly begins. Time feels heavier. Legacy feels real. You realise you are no longer only receiving a story. You are now responsible for carrying it forward.

Becoming financially responsible for others is another. Money stops being about lifestyle and becomes stewardship. Planning stretches further ahead. Risk feels different. The question shifts from “Can I?” to “What must not fail?”

Making an irreversible commitment is momentous too. Marriage is the most common example, but not the only one. Optionality reduces, but depth increases. You stop chasing what else is possible and start building what you have chosen.

A health scare or physical limitation can also be momentous. It removes the illusion that capacity is guaranteed. It forces you to protect energy and rethink pace. Pain has a way of revealing what matters and what was only noise.

Becoming responsible for other people’s growth is momentous. Leadership does this. Mentoring does this. When you realise your blind spots affect others, self development becomes duty. You learn not only for yourself, but because others are impacted by what you refuse to learn.

Some momentous moments are invisible.

Choosing integrity when the cost is real is one of them. Not theory. Not image. Real integrity that costs money, opportunity, or approval. Those moments reshape how you live with yourself.

Deciding what you will no longer do can be just as momentous. At a certain stage, growth is not about addition. It is about elimination. A quiet no can protect your future from your current appetite.

Writing down what you stand for can also be momentous. It ends constant negotiation with yourself. It becomes a centre. Many people drift not because they lack ability, but because they lack clarity.

A Momentous Business Decision That Upgraded Everything

In 2019, we decided to operate an international school in a commercial lot, around 50,000 square feet, later expanded to 80,000. Before that, we were running preschools in spaces of around 4,000 square feet. The decision to expand into an international school was momentous.

It upgraded everything again.

My body mattered more because responsibility grew.
My mind mattered more because learning and mentors became essential.
My spirit mattered more because purpose had to lead.
Love and family mattered more because leadership spills home.
Community mattered more because education builds ecosystems.
Work and money mattered more because stewardship scaled.
Even rest became intentional, not accidental.

Business expansion is not just strategy. It is identity.

Systems: The Momentous Decision Leaders Delay Until It Hurts

People often say everything rises and falls with leadership. I see it slightly differently.

We rise to leadership, but we fall to systems.

As we scaled from around 30 staff to around 200, systemisation stopped being optional. The decision to build systems, to be franchise ready, to ensure the leader is part of the system and not above it, changes everything that follows. It shapes culture, protects people, and sustains trust without constant presence.

The Quiet Moment That No One Sees

There is one more layer that feels important to name. Some of the most momentous moments are decisions about what not to do. Temptations turned down. Shortcuts rejected. Choices made quietly, without witnesses. Not for image, but for inner alignment.

Because what matters is not only what you say publicly, but what you tell yourself when no one else is in the room.

A Simple Step That Makes This Real

Choose 1 area of your life where you feel pressure, confusion, or stuckness. Then ask yourself this question:

What is the momentous decision I have been avoiding because it will permanently change what I can no longer pretend?

Then take 1 visible action that proves you mean it. Not 10. Just 1.

Domino thinking helps you multiply outcomes with wise habits.

Momentous thinking helps you recognise the decisions that rebuild identity, and then allows the rest of life to rearrange around that new centre.

Reverse That Redefines It All

I began this reflection thinking about efficiency, about dominoes, about how to make 24 hours work harder.

But the truth is simpler.

The moments that shaped my life were not efficient. They were decisive.

They did not help me do more. They changed who I was allowed to be after that.

A well-managed life is not the same as a well-lived one.

Dominos can improve a life. Momentous moments rebuild it.