When Leadership Grows From the Inside Out
The Week That Felt Like Too Much
From 5 December until tonight, life has been one long corridor.
Graduation concert in JB.
Travel to KL at night.
Graduations in KL.
Back to JB.
Three full days of strategic retreat.
For almost a week, there was no such thing as “normal time.” Every morning started before my brain was fully awake. Every night ended close to midnight. Even today, it was like that. Event to event. Room to room. Conversation to conversation.
And yet, the moment I clipped Loki’s leash on, stepped into the park, and started walking in the dark, something in me finally exhaled. My reflection time with Loki is not a hobby. It is my survival system. It is my sacred moment. If I can walk and talk to God in the quiet, I know I can still fly higher after the dust settles.
Interestingly, science backs this up. Researchers have found that walking can increase creative thinking by around 60 percent. It is not just romantic to say “I think better when I walk.” It is biologically true. Walking resets the brain, loosens rigid thinking, and opens new pathways.
So here I am, on 10 December 2025, walking Loki, exhausted but strangely settled. Looking back at the last few days, one theme keeps surfacing. Foundational was our word for this year. But as we cross into 2026, a new word is emerging.
Striving.
Not striving as in shallow achievement. Not striving as in anxiety. Striving as in alignment. Striving as in running hard in the right direction, with the right people, for the right reasons.
Last year, we built foundations. Next year, we must strive. But for an organisation, striving is not as simple as a building adding floors. A building, once the foundation is done, can rise. An organisation is different. A school is different. Because everything rests on one fragile, powerful, unpredictable variable.
People.
And people, if not handled with integrity and courage, can dampen even the best foundation.
So the question is not, “Will 2026 be a year of striving.” The better questions are:
What does striving really mean for us.
What did this crazy week actually reveal about our readiness.
And what kind of leaders must we become so that our striving is healthy, not toxic.
How Serving Others Prepared Us Without Us Realising
If you look at the calendar, what we just did looks slightly mad.
A week before our own strategic retreat, while we were in the thick of planning and running our graduation concerts, we were also helping another company design and run their strategic retreat. On paper, we should have been focusing only on our own events. Tight schedule. Big milestones. New campus announcement. Any advisor would say, “Focus on your own house first.”
But real growth rarely follows neat logic.
I remember as a younger Christian, I could not understand why people gave so much to serve in church. Driving their own cars to fetch others. Using their own money and time. No pay. No title. No promotion. At nineteen years old, I thought, “This is crazy. These people must be very free or very foolish.”
Fast forward ten or twenty years, you see the fruit. Their lives are different. They built friendships. They built resilience. They built a certain inner strength that you cannot buy in any leadership course. Whether you look at it as God’s blessing, or you look at it through psychology as the “helper’s high,” the pattern is the same. When you serve sincerely, you grow more than the people you serve.
That is what happened to us over the last two weeks.
Helping another company with their retreat sharpened our thinking for our own. Psychologists call it a perspective gap. It is often easier to see clearly when you are solving someone else’s problem. Your brain lifts itself to a higher balcony. From that higher balcony, your own organisation becomes clearer too.
So while it looked like we were “too busy” serving someone else, we were actually preparing our own team. Without external consultants. Without fancy frameworks. Just by doing the work.
And there was another layer.
We have been doing strategic retreats for three years now. The first year, we were still learning to stand. The second year, we were trying to walk. This third year, something shifted. We did not have an external coach. Only a few invited speakers. The design, the flow, the impartation, the facilitation, the coaching, the Start Stop Continue activity, all came from us.
You could feel the compounding effect.
In physics, there is something called a flywheel. It is heavy and hard to start. At first, every push feels useless. But as you keep pushing consistently in the same direction, the flywheel gathers speed. Once it has momentum, it becomes hard to stop. Leadership thinkers borrowed this picture to describe how organisations grow. Small, consistent pushes create momentum. Momentum then makes every next push easier.
That is what I sense for us now. The flywheel has started moving.
The retreat feedback reflected that. People did not just say, “It was fun.” They said it was fulfilling. They gained clarity. They felt ready to rise as leaders. That is not entertainment. That is internal shift.
And yet, this is the part that matters most to me.
The air felt clean.
For years, we have had a polluted river quietly running under the surface. As a Chinese culture child, respect for elders is deep in my bones. It is a value I do not want to lose. But there is a painful truth. Respect for elders cannot be a shield to protect insecure leadership that harms the young.
There is a line between honouring elders and tolerating toxicity.
Over time, we noticed the same pattern. Good people came in, but they could not stay. Departments became heavy. Turnover at leadership level rose. The phrase, “People do not quit their jobs, they quit their bosses,” came alive in front of us.
Leadership books have a lot to say about this. Data from workplace studies show that one toxic senior leader can cause almost fifty percent higher turnover, a huge drop in commitment, and a real hit to productivity. You do not need the exact percentages to feel this. You see it in the faces of your team when they come to work in survival mode instead of growth mode.
For too long, I allowed this polluted river to run. That is my mistake as the leader. My desire to respect, my reluctance to confront, my tendency to hope things would “settle.” All of that delayed the hard step.
But polluted rivers do not heal by themselves.
Environmental scientists say river restoration always follows three stages. First, stop the source of pollution. Second, actively clean and restore. Third, allow the ecosystem time to stabilise and flow naturally again. You cannot skip step one. If you keep cleaning the river while the factory continues dumping waste upstream, your effort is wasted.
That is exactly why our Start Stop Continue framework is so powerful. It matches how real rivers heal.
Stop the pollution.
Start the restoration.
Continue what is already healthy.
In this season, we finally stopped the main source of pollution. The insecure leadership in the middle, that twisted culture and drained good people, is no longer in the room. I did not push further when that senior leader did not show up. Deep inside, I knew. This absence might actually be the gift our people need.
You could feel it at the retreat.
People opened up more easily. Conversations became honest. Jokes were lighter. Even I felt different. Less guarded. Less worried about hidden politics. More able to simply lead, teach, coach, and listen.
That is not perfection. That is clean air.
And clean air is the first condition for real striving.
What Striving Really Means for STELLAR
So what does this word striving mean for us in 2026.
For me, striving is not frantic activity. It is not busyness. It is not reaction. In leadership language, we say activity is not the same as accomplishment. It is possible to be very busy and still go nowhere.
Striving, in the Stellar sense, is disciplined movement in one clear direction:
Inspiring the dream of a better world
Through innovating education
And transforming lives.
It is raising a generation of STARS for a sustainable future. Self awareness, Teachability, Attitude, Relationships, Significance.
It is leading with integrity, empathy, and excellence, even when it costs us.
This week, we publicly pre launched the Stellar Purpose Built Campus during our Graduation Concert. That moment was not just a marketing milestone. It was a direction-setting moment. It told our people, our parents, our partners, and even ourselves, “We are not done. We are building for the next season.”
Once you declare that kind of future, everything else must realign. If my goal is to retire and slow down, I will lead in one way. If my goal is to stay the same, I will choose another strategy. But if my goal is to prepare for a new school, grow leaders, and expand impact from now until 2030, then striving is not a nice word on a poster. It is a necessity.
Leadership writers have a law for this. They call it the Law of the Big Mo, where momentum is a leader’s best friend. When momentum is on your side, even ordinary actions produce multiplied results. When momentum is against you, even simple decisions feel heavy and every move is questioned.
We are now at a point where the Big Mo is starting to lean in our favour. The polluted river has been addressed. The new campus has been announced. The five year blueprint from 2025 to 2030 gives us a horizon. The team has tasted what a clean, honest strategic retreat feels like.
But striving is not only structural. It must be cultural and personal.
During my keynote at the retreat, I used Amazon as a mirror, then translated it into our language.
Four pictures of striving:
- Unrealistic obsession toward parents and students
Not casual service. Not average. Obsession. In customer research, companies that truly obsess over their customers tend to outperform. For us, that means being obsessed with serving children and families, not obsessed with protecting systems or reputations. - Generational thinking, not semester thinking
Many of our issues look different if we ask, “What does this mean ten years from now. Twenty years from now. For the generation after my children.” That question shifts how you treat people, how you design curriculum, and how you handle conflict. - Growing the team, not using the team
In the Purposebility vocab, we talk about being empowered, not entitled, and committing to resilience that leads to desired results. Striving must never be about squeezing people for output. It must be about lifting the whole team so that they can handle more, think clearer, and live fuller. - Day one mindset, not “we are already successful” mindset
Organisations die inside long before they die outside. Not because of competition, but because of complacency. The day one mindset keeps us curious, humble, and hungry. It reminds us that every child in this “first batch” will someday tell others what Stellar did to shape them.
These four are not slogans. They are postures.
And there is a fascinating thing about posture. When your inner posture is right, even pressure can be meaningful. Studies show that people who are highly engaged with a strong sense of purpose can work extremely hard and still feel satisfied. They get tired, but not hollow. It is not the workload alone that burns people out. It is the feeling of being unseen, unclear, and unsupported.
Striving, therefore, must always sit on three foundations:
Clarity of direction.
Cleanliness of environment.
Courage in leadership.
We are still building all three. But at least now, they are on the table, not hidden under it.
How We Practically Strive in 2026
If striving is more than a theme, what do we actually do on Monday morning.
This is where the polluted river metaphor becomes very practical.
Environmental restoration always begins with a decision: we cannot allow this river to be polluted any longer. That is leadership stewardship. 万物皆为我所用，但非我所有. All things are for my use, but none are truly mine to own. Leadership is stewardship, not ownership. We are holding this school, this team, this generation, for a short time to serve them well, not to control them forever.
So, three moves for every leader in Stellar in 2026:
1. Stop what pollutes
Ask yourself honestly:
What behaviours in me are polluting the team.
Do I gossip.
Do I manipulate.
Do I use “respect” as a shield to avoid accountability.
Do I operate from fear or from faith.
Then ask a few trusted people and be ready for uncomfortable answers.
Stopping pollution is not only about removing one toxic person. It is also about confronting the quieter forms of toxicity in our own hearts. That is where Romans 12:2 becomes very real.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world.
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect will.
Transformation starts where our patterns change.
2. Start what restores
Once the source is stopped, you can begin to restore.
This is where our Start Stop Continue activity becomes a living tool, not just a retreat exercise.
With your team, ask:
What do we need to start that we have been avoiding.
Regular one to one conversations.
Honest performance feedback with care.
Micro learning moments that coach, not just instruct.
Systems that protect children, staff, and culture.
Interestingly, small changes can create big shifts. In river science, once pollution stops and basic restoration begins, nature itself starts to help. Fish come back. Plants root deeper. Water clears slowly. The system wants to heal, as long as we give it a chance.
People are like that too. Once you remove fear and add honesty and support, many will begin to rise without being forced.
3. Continue what is already healthy
We do not need to rebuild everything. Some parts of Stellar are already strong. Our PVMC. Our STARS values. Our culture of servant leadership and transformational innovation. Our resilience in seasons where we should have given up but did not.
Striving in 2026 means asking:
What is already working that we must not neglect.
Where have we seen real growth in people, not just numbers.
What traditions remind us of who we are.
Then we double down on those. We protect them. We honour them. We tell their stories again and again, because repetition is how cultures remember. Behavioural science reminds us of something simple: lessons rarely stick without repetition. The same is true for values.
On the personal level, each leader must also decide what striving looks like in daily rhythm.
For some, it will mean blocking time for reflection so that you do not lead on empty. For others, it will mean scheduling regular walks, knowing that walking is not a waste of time but a creativity and clarity tool. For many, it will mean seeking coaching, because every world class performer has a coach. Not because they are weak, but because they are serious.
And behind all these, one quiet question:
What am I truly willing to pay for the kind of impact I say I want.
Dreams come with receipts. There is no such thing as a free legacy.
The Reserve That Redefines It All
Striving is often misunderstood.
Many people think the opposite of striving is rest. As if you are either striving or you are resting. Work or Sabbath. Effort or stillness.
But that is not the real tension.
The real opposite of striving is drifting.
Rest is intentional. Drift is unconscious.
Rest restores your strength. Drift slowly drains your life.
Rest helps you return sharper and clearer. Drift convinces you nothing is really wrong, until it is too late.
Leadership becomes dangerous not when leaders rest, but when leaders drift. When they avoid hard conversations. When they protect the wrong people. When they build walls instead of bridges. When they let pollution flow “just a little longer” to keep the peace.
What this crazy stretch from 5 to 10 December has shown me is this:
Striving, in the way we are called to it, is not about doing more.
It is about becoming truer.
Truer to our purpose.
Truer to our values.
Truer to the next generation’s needs.
Truer to what God is whispering in the quiet moments when everyone has gone home and it is just you, your thoughts, and the sound of your dog’s footsteps in the park.
Momentum, once it starts, really is a leader’s best friend. But only if it is flowing in the right direction. Only if the river is clean. Only if the leaders are willing to stop, start, and continue what truly matters.
So as we cross into 2026, this is my simple invitation to every leader in Stellar, and to myself:
Do not drift.
Strive.
Not to impress.
To become.
Not to chase titles.
To serve generations.
Not to protect comfort.
To protect purpose.
Because in the end, leadership that strives for self will always collapse.
But leadership that strives from a clean heart, for a clear purpose, with a committed community, will quietly transform more than we imagine.
