Building a Life That Holds Others
The Walk That Sparked Seven Wins
It was a Tuesday evening.
I was in the garden with Eann, my beloved son who has written me love letters almost every day, holding my hand as I reminded him not to let go of the dog.
We were walking slowly. I could feel the weight on my legs as we strolled, the cool air settling into my skin. My mind was busy but not restless. In that single moment, I realised I was doing at least 7 important things at once.
- I was exercising.
- I was focusing on home and family.
- I was playing and relaxing.
- I was reflecting out loud so Eann could hear my thoughts.
- I was deepening my sense of purpose.
- I was building community through the ideas I knew I would later publish.
- I was, without even trying, strengthening my professional presence.
7 wins from one walk.
This is the hidden potential of life, if we live it with intention.
The Journey Is More Than the Trip
In a few days, I will be flying to China on a business trip. I am bringing Aden and Eann with me. For most people, a work trip is about the meetings, the deals, the schedules. For me, it is also about seizing every possible moment for connection, learning, and memory-making.
We will download movies to watch on the plane, share the novelty of airline meals, explore the hotel together. There will be laughter, questions, and quiet moments. It will be father-and-son time in the midst of business.
Life is too short to do just one thing at a time. If we are intentional, one action can produce multiple layers of impact.
The Guest Who Made Me See My Own Life
Recently, we welcomed a guest into our home, Paul Lau, a visionary and purpose-driven leader. As he stayed with us for a few days, I watched him watching us. His observations reminded me that what feels ordinary to us can be extraordinary to someone else.
It took me back to a vision I received in 2018:
To create an intentional community, a way of living where families choose proximity and shared life, not just convenience.
Today, my close buddy Samuel lives right across the street. His living room has become a playground for his son and a gathering place for our families. If guests need a place to stay, Samuel opens his home. When larger gatherings happen, my living room becomes the venue. We are not just neighbours, we are an intentional community.
Why Intentional Living Matters More Than Ever
The world is full of connection, yet people are more disconnected than ever.
Technology has given us “friends” in the thousands and instant conversations with AI assistants like Siri. But Siri will never truly care about you. Machines can mimic human responses, but they cannot love, challenge, or comfort you.
Real life happens in the mess, the sibling squabbles, the awkward misunderstandings, the inconvenient needs.
Eann sometimes gets upset when Aden calls him silly names. They argue over toys. They cry. But there are also moments when Aden swims without his brother and later admits he feels lonely without him. These contradictions are the heartbeat of real relationships.
I tell my sons, “Cherish your brother. One day you will realise how much he matters.”
Love Is a Choice, Not a Convenience
The best gift I can give my children is to love their mother well. Not because we agree on everything, in fact, we often see things differently, but because love is a choice.
It is easy to love when someone is kind, patient, or accommodating. It is harder when they test your patience, wake you in the middle of the night, or refuse to do the very things you have asked. But real love endures through inconvenience. It is deliberate.
I tell my children: “If I only loved you when you behaved well, that love would be worth nothing. I choose to love you, always.”
The Leadership Parallel: Building an Inner Circle
That morning, during devotion, I was reading Exodus 6. God reminded Moses of his vision and gave him an inner circle, Aaron, because the task was too great for him alone.
The “Law of Inner Circle” teaches that:
- 1. Personal to who they are (it is owned by the leader).
- 2. Practical for when they live (it meets a relevant need).
- 3. Possible for what they have (it matches their gifts).
- 4. Parallel to who they are (it complements their passion and personality).
- 5. Portable for where they go (it can move with them).
- 6. Powerful for how they live (it stretches them to accomplish more than they could on their own).
- 7. Profitable for what they do (it gets results).
- 8. Pleasurable for who they are (it brings fulfillment and satisfaction).
- 9. Purposeful for why they live (it fulfills their God-given mission).
- 10. Providential for where they are heading (it provides a God-sized destiny).
Reflection Box: Your Inner Circle Check
Pause here and consider…
- Is this vision truly mine? Would I still pursue it if no one else believed in it?
- Whose real needs will this meet, and how do I know those needs are genuine?
- Do I have the gifts, skills, and resources to begin, or do I know where to find them?
- Does this vision align with my deepest passions and natural strengths?
- If my location, role, or circumstances changed, could I still carry this vision forward?
- In what ways does this stretch me beyond my comfort zone and dependence on myself?
- What tangible results will this produce, and who will benefit most?
- Will pursuing this bring me genuine joy, or will it only drain me over time?
- How does this connect to my God-given mission and the bigger story I am part of?
- If this vision succeeds, what God-sized future could it make possible for me and others?
From Vision to Prototype
In 2018, the vision for intentional living was just an idea. Four families came together to test it. Over time, people moved away for different reasons, marriage, work, changing priorities, and we blessed them as they left.
By 2020, we began to live it out more deliberately. We renovated our homes, opened our doors, and built trust. It was not without challenges. My wife and I had to agree on boundaries: our bedroom was private; the rest of the house was open for community life.
The Proof Is in the Living
Three years later, I can say it has only made us richer, not financially, but in life experience, relationships, and opportunities for our children.
Our children interact with school principals, corporate leaders, and business owners who visit our home. They learn confidence not from a stage, but from private conversations with people worth emulating. They see humility modeled, because the most impressive guests are often the most down-to-earth.
The Numbers Behind the Dream
Co-living is not just an idealistic concept. Studies show that shared living arrangements:
- Reduce household expenses by up to 40% through shared costs.
- Increase reported life satisfaction by 30% compared to living alone.
- Provide stronger social safety nets, lowering stress and improving mental health.
Globally, co-living has become a solution to urban loneliness and rising living costs. But beyond economics, it offers something rarer, daily, face-to-face human connection.
Scaling the Vision: From 4 to 42
Last week, 42 of us purchased homes with the intention of forming a larger community. Not all will see it through. If even a quarter of us stay committed, we will still have 10 families living in close relationship.
This is the power of a vision that is tested, refined, and then multiplied.
Practical Steps Toward Intentional Living
If you want to build something similar, start small.
- Open Your Home in Measured Ways, host a weekly dinner or game night.
- Set Clear Boundaries, protect your family’s private space while keeping shared areas welcoming.
- Choose Your Inner Circle Carefully, invest most deeply in those aligned with your values.
- Multiply Impact, pair activities so that one action meets multiple purposes.
- Think Stewardship, Not Ownership, see your resources as tools to bless others, not just yourself.
The Reverse That Redefines It All
The opposite of belonging is not exclusion. It is self-protection.
A house becomes a haven when we stop guarding it as a possession and start stewarding it as a gift. When privacy is balanced with generosity, when fear gives way to trust, and when relationships take priority over convenience, we create spaces that shape lives for generations.
Your home can be that place.
If you let it.
