The Hardest Lesson We Learn in Life
What if the things that hurt the most were the very things that could save you?
Some lessons in life can only be learned through pain. The hardest part? Trusting that the pain has a purpose.
A Story About My Son, Aden
This is a story about my eldest son, Aden. It happened when he was about two or three years old.
He fell really sick. We took him to the doctor, and they prescribed antibiotics. One round. Then another. And another. But his fever wouldn’t break. Every time he took the antibiotic, he vomited. The medicine was just too strong.
I have never been a fan of antibiotics—I hated them. So, watching my son struggle through dose after dose felt unbearable.
Eventually, I made the call: We’re taking him to the hospital.
The first thing they needed to do? Put him on a drip.
And that’s when I saw it.
The needle.
For a baby.
For a toddler.
Aden looked at me, his eyes full of fear. “Dad, please don’t let them do this to me.”
I wanted to scream the same thing to the nurse:
“Don’t poke it into his big fat arm. Please—big fat little arm.”
If I could take his place, I would. A thousand times over.
But I couldn’t. So, I did the only thing I could—I held him down on the bed while the nurse pushed the needle in.
He screamed. He cried. He yelled at me.
“Dad, why did you let them do this? It hurts. Please stop.”
And then, exhausted from crying, he fell asleep.
I sat there, watching him, my heart completely shattered.
I whispered to myself the only thing I wished he could understand:
“Aden, all you need to do is trust me.”
When Pain Feels Unfair
That moment has stayed with me until today.
Fast forward to now—imagine if we were the child. If we were given the choice, would we ever choose the painful path?
Maybe Aden would have refused the drip if he had a say. But if he had, would he still be alive today?
Sometimes, what’s best for us is forced upon us.
We don’t always understand why we have to go through suffering. But just like Aden had to trust me, sometimes we have to trust the process.
This isn’t just about parenting. This is life. This is leadership.
Lessons from Leadership: The Permission to Obsess
Last night, we hosted a Life Group at our home.
It was a miracle that it even happened—because just two days ago, I was completely drained.
- Thursday: I was at home, sick. Couldn’t even work.
- Friday: Somehow, miraculously, I was okay and we hosted the group.
And the topic? Craig Groeschel’s talk from the Global Leadership Summit: “The Permission to Obsess.”
Craig said something that hit me hard:
“Conformity is the quickest path to mediocrity.”
I felt that.
Since young, I never fit into the system.
- I didn’t fit into the education system.
- I didn’t fit into the norm.
- I didn’t fit into the usual lifestyle everyone else followed.
And now? I’m glad I didn’t.
Because another thing Craig said was this:
“People will cheer on your passion. But they will talk you out of your obsession.”
Why People Hate Obsession
When you’re obsessed with something, people think you’re weird.
“Why put so much effort into this?”
“Why do you care so much?”
“Why can’t you just relax?”
Because greatness is born in the extreme.
No obsession → No extreme.
No extreme → No greatness.
The world is full of average, good-enough, let’s-not-go-too-far people.
And that’s fine. But that’s not for me.
Because, as Craig put it:
“Busy leaders don’t change the world. Focused leaders do.”
Fighting the Right Battles
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what I fight for.
Some things, I fight to win.
Other things, I fight just to not lose.
But the real question is: Should I even be in those fights at all?
If we’re too busy, we lose focus.
And the greatest barrier to success isn’t a lack of commitment—it’s overcommitment.
If you say yes to everything, you won’t grow.
The best leaders?
They don’t grow by saying “yes.” They grow by saying “no.”
Lately, I’ve been saying no more than I say yes.
- I won’t compromise my health.
- I won’t compromise my family.
- I won’t compromise my values.
And I refuse to fill up my life with distractions that take me away from what actually matters.
Leadership Isn’t About the Best Plan—It’s About the Best Buy-In
Another lesson from the session:
“The best teams don’t follow the best plan. They follow the leader with the best buy-in.”
This is exactly why Stellar is where it is today.
We didn’t start with the best plan. We built it along the way.
The difference?
We had people who were ALL IN.
If you don’t have buy-in, you’ll always have excuses.
The Final Lesson: Trust the Process or Die in Mediocrity
So, how does all of this connect back to Aden’s story?
It’s simple. Everything in life is a choice.
- You can choose to run away from the hard things.
- You can choose to fight every painful process.
- You can choose to stay comfortable, happy, and relaxed.
But mediocrity kills.
I refuse to let it kill me.
What about you?
Your Challenge for This Week
Before you move on, take 30 seconds to reflect.
- Where are you avoiding discomfort?
- What hard choices are you resisting?
- What if the pain you’re running from is the very thing that could save you?
Because the truth is this:
Pain will either break you or shape you. You choose.
What will you choose?
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