The
Reluctant
Leader

Blog

Day: December 15, 2025

Ordinary Habits, Extraordinary Lives

Extraordinary lives are not built by intensity or miracles. They are shaped quietly, through ordinary habits, repeated faithfully across changing seasons. Wisdom is not living at full capacity every day, but knowing when to drain, when to rest, and when to show up fully without fighting the season you are in.

Protected: Closing 2025 (2)

Momentous Moments

At 38, time feels heavier, not faster. The days did not change, but the decisions did. Dominos help life run better, but momentous moments rebuild who you are. Parenting, loss, commitment, integrity, and stewardship quietly rewrite identity, then let everything else reorganise around that new centre.

Protected: Closing 2025

ABCDE

Training fails when it becomes a default response instead of a deliberate choice. True leadership begins with understanding reality, naming constraints, and choosing the right intervention. ABCDE is not a training model, but a way of thinking that slows leaders down just enough to act wisely and create lasting impact.

The Paradox of Love

Love rarely announces itself loudly. It shows up quietly, at funerals, on long rides, and around shared tables. When gratitude is practised without keeping score, it strengthens both giver and receiver. The paradox is simple. Love does not run out when given. It multiplies through repetition.

Brace Through Reluctance

Reluctance often appears before meaningful growth. Leadership matures when we learn to discern which discomfort to brace through and which to rest within. Strength without softness hardens people. Softness without strength collapses purpose. Sustainable leaders build the capacity to carry weight while staying human, season after season, with humility intact.

Seeking Apologies, Not Permission

Leadership moments rarely announce themselves. Sometimes they arrive quietly, in rain, fatigue, and small decisions. When systems lag and clarity is absent, waiting feels safe but costly. Responsible leaders move with integrity, contain risk, protect others, and accept consequences. That willingness to carry responsibility is how momentum, trust, and impact are preserved.

Trust and Momentum

Trust and momentum are not built through intensity or image, but through consistent priorities lived over time. You cannot manage time, only what you choose to honour within it. Slowly, quietly, your habits compound. And one day, time itself becomes the witness of who you truly are.

Striving

Striving is not about doing more. It is about becoming truer. When the air is clean, the direction is clear, and leaders have the courage to stop toxicity, momentum follows. Organisations do not rise because of strategy alone. They rise because people finally feel safe enough to grow.

Four Dimensions of Thinking

Leadership is shaped less by position and more by perspective. As our thinking grows from skill to principles, from discipline to time, we begin to see that leadership is rarely convenient. It asks us to carry responsibility beyond ourselves, and to build something meaningful that outlives our own season.

A Decade-Long Pursuit

A decade-long pursuit began with one promise. I told a young teacher to aim not for RM3,000, but for RM30,000. That sentence forced me to confront the limits of the traditional school model and build a system where ability grows beyond ratios, titles, and ceilings. If the system cannot lift people, rebuild it.

Mute Notifications to Hear Life

When I muted my notifications, I finally saw how much of my life had been shaped by other people’s urgency. Silence did not disconnect me. It restored my clarity. It reminded me that Ants react, Lions translate, and Eagles watch the horizon. Attention is leadership. The less I react, the more I can truly lead.

Be “SMISE”

A simple car ride with my children reminded me that life demands more than being smart. It requires wisdom to choose what is right, not just what is impressive. SMISE is the goal. Think well. Live well. Align well. Smart helps you rise. Wise keeps you standing.

The Life Assumption

We live as if time is guaranteed, yet the truth is sharper. We will die, but we do not know when. This single awareness changes how we parent, lead, forgive, and choose what matters. The opposite of living is not dying. It is assuming we still have time.

Protected: With Open Arms

Today reminded me that paradise is not a place but a posture. I saw it in Aden’s piano exam, in Evan’s gratitude, in the tiny moments of presence. I felt it again at Rachel’s wedding, where loving with open arms meant blessing someone even as she walked into a new season without us.

Wasted

Consistency: Superpower or Struggle?

3 Dreams

Most people chase dreams that look good on the outside and quietly betray them on the inside. I almost did too. Saying no to the family business and the money was not the hardest part. The real cost was disappointing those I love to live a life I can own.

Chicken Bone With Love

I used to think my mother loved chicken bones because she always gave me the drumstick meat and ate the bone herself. Only years later did I realise she had been giving me the best and keeping the rest. Love is often silent. Misread. And only recognised when life finally trains our eyes.