The
Reluctant
Leader

Blog

Day: November 12, 2025

Go Backward to Move Forward

Going old school was not nostalgia. It was clarity. A printed manuscript, a physical Bible, a handwritten note, a real meeting. Every step backward revealed what digital life kept stealing, attention, presence, depth, and purpose. Sometimes the fastest way to move forward is to return to what keeps us human.

The Gateless Life

A gateless life is not reckless. It is a life guided by clarity instead of fear. When fear becomes your compass, leadership collapses. When purpose takes its place, you can live with nothing to hide, prove, or lose. This is the posture that builds trust, integrity, and legacy.

Protected: The Wisdom of Serpents, the Heart of Doves

I used to believe that if something cost me a lot, it must be valuable to you. Then coaching, cashflow, and conscience collided. I realised the real test of leadership is this: can you honour the past, protect the relationship, and still say, “This is no longer worth what we are all paying,” and stay kind while you do it.

When the Day Feels Disgusting

A day does not have to be busy to be brutal. Sometimes it is our own reactions that drain us. The faster we return from emotion to awareness, the more power we reclaim. Leadership maturity is not about avoiding chaos, but about shortening the distance between falling and finding peace again.

The Night Nezha United Us

It was just a movie night. Sofa, snacks, and the 2019 hit Ne Zha on screen. Yet when I paused the film to wait for my wife, three boys burst into tears. That night, I realised something simple. The real power in a family is not speed. It is willingness to wait.

The Paradox of Labels and Liberation

What Is Influence?

Influence is not how many people listen to you. It is how you respond when no one is watching. The more I tried to control my wife, my country, my circumstances, the smaller I became. The moment I shifted from reacting to choosing, from blaming to stewarding, my world quietly began to expand.

The Night Eann Turned 7

The night Eann turned seven, I learned that trust is not taught. It is patterned. Love has a sequence, and leadership does too. The same rhythm that calms a child is the one that steadies a team. Predictability is not boring. It is sacred. It keeps the fire burning when everything else fades.

Strength, Sin, and the Shopping Cart

We laugh at Samson for losing his strength over a haircut. Yet every sale, every click, every indulgence is our own version of the scissors. Consumerism cuts quietly. The real strength today isn’t in earning more. It’s in wanting less, giving more, and remembering that community is the antidote to greed.

The 1% Begins Here

It started with one reluctant walk and became ten years of obedience. Real excellence isn’t perfection but endurance, the quiet faithfulness of showing up again when comfort says stop. The 1 percent are those who keep walking when no one else is watching.

Be Still

The more I tried to control, the more control controlled me. Leadership, responsibility, even love, each became a prison disguised as purpose. Then I heard it: Be still and know that I am God. Not to do nothing, but to surrender everything. Stillness is not the absence of motion. It is the presence of trust.

I Was Sure. I Was Wrong.

Three slaps in 24 hours. A farewell I dismissed. A celebration I nearly skipped. A judgment I threw at home. Each time, feeling pretended to be fact. Community corrected me. The new rule is simple: one fact before one feeling, one generous question before one judgment. Trust grew where ego shrank.

The Paradox of Hopeless Empathy

Sometimes God lets you waste what you once valued so you can rediscover what truly matters. Sitting in the car with the engine running, I realised the paradox of hopeless empathy, that only by losing hope did I learn to feel again. And in feeling again, I found purpose.

1000 Years

Love isn’t proven by how long it lasts, but by how many times it chooses to begin again. I once thought forever was a feeling. Now I know it’s a practice. One act of surrender. One step closer. One quiet death to self. That’s how a thousand years truly begin.

Hidden Cost. Hidden Opportunity

We think what’s free costs nothing. But everything has a price, either paid by you or by someone before you. The hidden cost teaches awareness. The hidden opportunity teaches gratitude. The wise don’t avoid cost. They redeem it, turning expense into investment and transaction into transformation.

Be Yourself, But Which Self?

“Be yourself,” they say. But which self? Freedom isn’t indulgence; it’s discipline. Authenticity without accountability is adolescence. The world tells you to express who you are. Legacy demands you become who you’re meant to be, the self that floats against its nature and teaches others how to rise.

Rest Is Your Fastest Move

Rest is not the opposite of progress; it is the precondition for it. Productivity begins when you delegate downwards to empower others and upwards to elevate yourself into higher work. Stillness is clarity. Clarity is speed. The leader who dares to rest often moves fastest.

The Compound Interest of Small Choices

Compound interest multiplies whatever you feed it, money, time, or emotion. Freedom without rhythm becomes noise; rhythm turns freedom into music. Guard your heart, for small choices compound quietly. The opposite of freedom is not control. It is addiction.

Losing Yourself to Find Yourself Again

Every level demands more. What once rewarded you now resists you. You have not failed. You have simply outgrown your old form. Life keeps asking for deeper mastery. Growth feels like loss only until you realise you were never losing yourself; you were shedding what no longer fits who you are meant to become.

Outside-In Systems, Inside-Out Souls

When the lights went out, I opened my home to ten people. We read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The same cost, multiplied tenfold. That day I learned: you cannot love deeply without structure, and you cannot build structure without love.