The
Reluctant
Leader

Blog

Day: November 2, 2025

Be Still

The more I tried to control, the more control controlled me. Leadership, responsibility, even love, each became a prison disguised as purpose. Then I heard it: Be still and know that I am God. Not to do nothing, but to surrender everything. Stillness is not the absence of motion. It is the presence of trust.

I Was Sure. I Was Wrong.

Three slaps in 24 hours. A farewell I dismissed. A celebration I nearly skipped. A judgment I threw at home. Each time, feeling pretended to be fact. Community corrected me. The new rule is simple: one fact before one feeling, one generous question before one judgment. Trust grew where ego shrank.

The Paradox of Hopeless Empathy

Sometimes God lets you waste what you once valued so you can rediscover what truly matters. Sitting in the car with the engine running, I realised the paradox of hopeless empathy, that only by losing hope did I learn to feel again. And in feeling again, I found purpose.

1000 Years

Love isn’t proven by how long it lasts, but by how many times it chooses to begin again. I once thought forever was a feeling. Now I know it’s a practice. One act of surrender. One step closer. One quiet death to self. That’s how a thousand years truly begin.

Hidden Cost. Hidden Opportunity

We think what’s free costs nothing. But everything has a price, either paid by you or by someone before you. The hidden cost teaches awareness. The hidden opportunity teaches gratitude. The wise don’t avoid cost. They redeem it, turning expense into investment and transaction into transformation.

Be Yourself, But Which Self?

“Be yourself,” they say. But which self? Freedom isn’t indulgence; it’s discipline. Authenticity without accountability is adolescence. The world tells you to express who you are. Legacy demands you become who you’re meant to be, the self that floats against its nature and teaches others how to rise.

Rest Is Your Fastest Move

Rest is not the opposite of progress; it is the precondition for it. Productivity begins when you delegate downwards to empower others and upwards to elevate yourself into higher work. Stillness is clarity. Clarity is speed. The leader who dares to rest often moves fastest.

The Compound Interest of Small Choices

Compound interest multiplies whatever you feed it, money, time, or emotion. Freedom without rhythm becomes noise; rhythm turns freedom into music. Guard your heart, for small choices compound quietly. The opposite of freedom is not control. It is addiction.

Losing Yourself to Find Yourself Again

Every level demands more. What once rewarded you now resists you. You have not failed. You have simply outgrown your old form. Life keeps asking for deeper mastery. Growth feels like loss only until you realise you were never losing yourself; you were shedding what no longer fits who you are meant to become.

Outside-In Systems, Inside-Out Souls

When the lights went out, I opened my home to ten people. We read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The same cost, multiplied tenfold. That day I learned: you cannot love deeply without structure, and you cannot build structure without love.

The 1,000-Year Test: Will What You Build Still Matter?

True legacy is not what you leave behind. It is what keeps living through others. The 1,000-Year Test asks one question: Will what you build still matter when you are gone? If it collapses when you leave, it was leverage. If it thrives without you, it was legacy.

How Long Can I Live? What For?

My mother once said she might already be in heaven by 2033. That line reset my horizon. I realised that living long is not the same as living full. I cannot control how long I live; I can only choose what I carry, what I archive, and what I pass on.

The Intersection of Chaos and Clarity

Some days, discipline fails and chaos takes over. Yet clarity is not found in control but in presence. When noise fills the room and routines fall apart, leadership begins not by mastering the moment, but by maturing through it. The opposite of chaos isn’t order. It’s presence.

When 4 Meets 40

When four meets forty, life circles back to where legacy begins. It is not the success of the adult that defines maturity, but the joy of the child that still lives within. We do not grow up to leave wonder behind. We grow up to return to it: consciously, gratefully, purposefully.

Value Beyond the Price Tag

True worth is never measured by applause. A car, a career, even a life can lose its price but still keep its value. Reliability, renewal, and purpose compound quietly through time. The opposite of being valuable is being validated. Price fades. Character appreciates.

Saving the World but Losing Your Family

Leadership is not about saving everyone. It is about building something strong enough to carry what matters most. The tooth revealed the pain. The boat carried the lesson. You cannot save the world by losing your family, but if you build your family strong enough, they will help you save the world.

Timeless, Not Timely

We chase what is timely and miss what is timeless. Leadership isn’t about managing time but aligning with truth. When we build from the inside out: principle before performance, character before charisma, results stop fading. The timeless doesn’t rush; it roots, and in rooting, it endures.

Float First, Swim Later

We don’t grow because we’re ready. We grow because we’re committed. You can’t learn to swim on land; you must first float, then find rhythm in the deep. Leadership begins the same way through fear, faith, and the humility to learn before you master.

Update the Tools, Not the Truth

We can update our systems, apps, and methods, but not the truths that sustain us. Progress can make us faster, yet only principles make us timeless. When purpose anchors progress, innovation becomes legacy. The future belongs not to those who invent the newest, but to those who preserve the truest.

Ordinary vs Memorable Love

He asked, “Dad, can you for once swim with us?” That question became a mirror. Love measured by time will always feel insufficient. Love measured by attention becomes infinite. Ordinary love sustains life. Memorable love shapes legacy. The opposite of presence is not absence. It is distraction.