The
Reluctant
Leader

Blog

Day:

Reconciling Growth and Impact

Expansion without reconciliation is noise. Impact without reconciliation is temporary. The last quarter of the year reminded me: nobody on their deathbed brags about growth. They remember reconciled moments with spouse, parents, children, and God. When growth reconciles with impact, leaders move from survival to legacy.

Giving What They Want, Not What You Think

Every birthday is not just another candle added, it is one candle closer to the final flame. Legacy is not built in extravagance, but in empathy. True love and leadership mean giving not what we think is best, but what others truly desire. Listening is the loudest honour.

I Wish the Day End Earlier

Exhausted one night, I whispered: I wish the day end earlier. But that small wish betrayed a deeper truth. Time is God-given. To cut it short is to play God. Integrity is not just tested by bribes or scandals. It is tested in tired evenings and hidden wishes.

Paradigm Shift at 11:11

At SG500, I entered invisible, unnoticed at the back row. Twenty minutes later, after sharing failure and redemption, I became visible. The crowd shifted, but I had not changed. True leadership is not in applause but in integrity. Being seen alters perception. Prayer and purpose transform legacy.

Push vs. Pull Leadership

Leadership built on push creates resistance. Leadership built on pull creates resilience. From parenting with a Nintendo Switch to buying a home during MCO gloom, I’ve learned this truth: fear drives compliance, but vision pulls legacy forward. Push secures results. Pull secures resilience, significance, and legacy.

Landing at the Best Airport Feels Wrong

We often confuse recognition with purpose, or excellence with alignment. Yesterday’s wedding and a foggy morning flight reminded me that landing at the best airport still feels wrong if it is not where you were meant to be. True leadership is arriving at God’s intended destination.

The Next Generation Is the Only Award That Matters

Awards are temporary, but legacy is lasting. From a Russian boy calling himself Malaysian to Valerie choosing to be a teacher, the real wins are not trophies but lives transformed. The next generation is the only award that matters, and our legacy is measured in them.

Image vs. Authenticity

Most of the time, people are not watching as closely as we fear. What they do notice is whether we are authentic. Image dazzles for a moment, but when it cracks, what remains is substance or the lack of it. Legacy is built on presence, not performance.

Love Never Fails, But We Must Grow to Live It

Love never fails. It is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. But our capacity to live it must grow. Parenting, marriage, leadership all reveal that love’s essence is timeless, yet its expression must rise with us. Love endures. We are the ones called to mature.

Richness Without Humility Destroys Leaders

Riches look like blessings, but without humility they blind us. Leadership is not about holding on to comfort but releasing it for the sake of others. True leaders empty themselves so their people can rise. Comfort is never the fruit of leadership. It is the price tag.

Failure Is the First Step

Failure is not the opposite of success. The opposite of success is stagnation. In Kuching, losing the Sustainable Development Award became our first step forward. It forced us to ask harder questions, seek clarity, and model resilience. Sometimes the greatest victory is learning how to fail with grace.

Life Is Too Short for One Lane Living

Life isn’t meant to be lived in silos. In Kuching, I discovered that ministry, family, business, and leadership can run side by side on the same highway. The key isn’t choosing one lane. It’s building systems that prevent collision and multiply legacy. Life is too short for one lane living.

From Weakness to Witness

Success before 30 is often measured by speed and brilliance. My journey taught me the opposite: every milestone was born from weakness. Rejection, betrayal, and brokenness became the soil for witness. Weakness does not erase success. The danger is only when we refuse to let weakness be redeemed.

Same Father, Different Fathers

All four of my children call me “Dad,” yet each has a different father. Not because I changed identities, but because each child reshaped me in a different season. Parenting is not copy-paste. It is seasonal, humbling, and paradoxical. We think it shapes them, but it reshapes us.

The Hidden Cost of 99 Degrees

99 degrees looks close enough. But it is not boiling. It is not transformation. The greatest danger is not failure at zero, but fatigue at ninety-nine. Legacy is never built on almost-there. It is born in the one degree that tips effort into breakthrough.

Malaysian Trust towards Mamak

Why do Malaysians trust mamaks more than five-star restaurants? We accept shifting prices and messy kitchens, yet keep going back. Trust isn’t about perfection, it’s about predictability. Leaders and families often forget this truth. Consistency, empathy, and surrender build legacy. Control destroys it. That’s the real lesson behind Malaysian trust towards mamak.

Between 20 and 60

The fastest four decades of your life vanish between 20 and 60. We think they are long, but they slip away unseen. Fragility hides in strength, drift disguises itself as progress. The real question is not how fast you went but why you lived at all.

Career. Life. Mission.

In a China hotel room, my children shouted commands at “Xiaodu Xiaodu” and the lights obeyed, sometimes too well. I laughed, then realized: leadership is translation. Career, life, and mission are the same. They don’t need balance. They need harmony, one language that multiplies legacy.

Aesthetic vs Authenticity

Branding is not what you design. It is what people believe. A logo may open the door, but only authenticity keeps it open. The real danger is not invisibility, it is unbelievability. Visibility can be bought. Believability must be earned. Aesthetic fades. Authenticity endures.

You Hold the Wheel. But Not the Master

We often believe we’re in control. But what if life was never about ownership, only stewardship? Some things become permanent before we even realize we’ve chosen them. This reflection explores the invisible hairspray moments that shape our lives and what it truly means to surrender the wheel.