The
Reluctant
Leader

Blog

Day: September 13, 2025

Between 20 and 60

The fastest four decades of your life vanish between 20 and 60. We think they are long, but they slip away unseen. Fragility hides in strength, drift disguises itself as progress. The real question is not how fast you went but why you lived at all.

Career. Life. Mission.

In a China hotel room, my children shouted commands at “Xiaodu Xiaodu” and the lights obeyed, sometimes too well. I laughed, then realized: leadership is translation. Career, life, and mission are the same. They don’t need balance. They need harmony, one language that multiplies legacy.

Aesthetic vs Authenticity

Branding is not what you design. It is what people believe. A logo may open the door, but only authenticity keeps it open. The real danger is not invisibility, it is unbelievability. Visibility can be bought. Believability must be earned. Aesthetic fades. Authenticity endures.

You Hold the Wheel. But Not the Master

We often believe we’re in control. But what if life was never about ownership, only stewardship? Some things become permanent before we even realize we’ve chosen them. This reflection explores the invisible hairspray moments that shape our lives and what it truly means to surrender the wheel.

Silver Linings in Dark Clouds

Storms will always come. Phones get lost, leaders leave, hearts harden. But not causing harm is not leadership. The real test is whether we turn dark clouds into silver linings, and silver linings into purpose. The opposite of leadership is not following. It is self-preservation.

Empowerment Begins with Awkwardness

Leadership often begins in awkwardness. My team knows I am introverted and rarely chair meetings, preferring to empower younger leaders or my COO. But when newcomers join, silence can confuse. Respect without responsibility is abdication. Responsibility without respect is domination. Empowerment starts with presence: caring, charting, and challenging.

Boring as Johor Bahru’s Superpower

In Johor Bahru, boring is not emptiness. It is protection. The city’s quiet filters out distraction and creates space for families to grow, friendships to deepen, and leaders to focus. What the world dismisses as ordinary is the very superpower that shapes extraordinary purpose and legacy.

Redefining CEO

Leadership is not to rule, but to reconcile. A CEO who cuts his own pay, who reconciles with his child in failure, who builds bridges between generations that is the true Chief Empowering Officer. Rule leaves results. Reconciliation leaves legacy. And legacy outlives every title.

Parenting Breakthroughs from China

Parenting breakthroughs rarely come in perfect moments. They appear in chaos: a child speaking Mandarin with courage, a night of independence in a hotel room, a lost phone turned into financial wisdom. Seeds planted in struggle become the roots of legacy, teaching us that love is the sunlight every seed needs.

Comfort vs Calling

On paper, Malaysia and China produce almost the same per hour. But when you stand in Guangzhou, the pace feels 6 times faster. Singapore races tenfold ahead. Comfort looks at numbers. Calling looks at legacy. The real question is: which race are you called to run?

AI’s Speed vs Human Soul

In an age where AI can craft perfect pitches, it is the human who pauses to ask, “What worries you most?” that opens hearts. Soul cannot be coded. True talent shows in how we listen, choose, and connect. In the end, it is soul, that leads us forward, not speed.

From 50 Yuan to Fortune 500

Midea began with bottle caps and 5,000 yuan. Today it is Fortune 500. Stellar is still small, but small is our vantage point. You climb to gain perspective, not to stay there. Legacy comes when you return wiser, humbler, and ready to lead daily life with new vision.

Superpower Activation

I once wished for invisibility, yet life demanded visibility. What I feared most became the very ground where strength was forged. Superpower activation is not discovered in comfort, but in struggle. Victory is not about escaping weakness, but about being transformed through the weight of responsibility and calling.

I Have a Dream… Not a Daydream

One conversation in 2018 taught me to think global and act local. Another in 2019 gave birth to Stellar’s vision. A third in 2025 reminded us we are dreamers. Dreams cost sacrifice, but conversations spark them. One insight can change the course of a life forever.

Teaching Obedience vs. Nurturing Heart

For Purposebility blog, LinkedIn, or newsletter promotion. It only took 10 minutes. But in that brief moment, I stopped teaching obedience and started nurturing their hearts. Because a well-behaved child can still grow up selfish. But a loving child? That’s legacy. This is the one thing I hope my sons will carry forever: love one another.

From Private to Communal

I once believed privacy was strength and independence was freedom. But crisis taught me the opposite. Community is costly at first, it asks for vulnerability, contribution, and commitment. Yet over time, it multiplies joy. The opposite of community is not loneliness. It is self-preservation.

The Hidden Curriculum of Foon Yew

Foon Yew’s hidden curriculum was never in textbooks. It was lived in wet markets, fundraising drives, and banners carried with pride. At 18, I thought I was invincible. At 38, I learned that true strength is humility. The question at 60 will be: did we live without regret?

Protected: The Math of Generational Legacy

Six disciples stretched me, but six is addition. Twelve is multiplication. Legacy is not built on numbers you manage, but on lives you multiply. Discipleship is messy, exhausting, yet full of joy. Easy has a cost. Multiplication is the math that outlives you.

Forced Break to Move Forward

Momentum can be your best friend or your worst enemy. That is why I practice forced breaks: barbecues I do not naturally host, workouts I do not always feel like, pauses I sometimes resist. What feels forced today creates freedom tomorrow. Forced breaks are not weakness. They are wisdom.

Why Effort Creates Real Joy

Joy does not come from shortcuts. It is born from effort, grit, and the daily choice to persist. Parenting, marriage, faith, even play all require work. The paradox is simple: what is hardest is also what is most rewarding. Effort creates real joy, and that joy becomes legacy.